


Still Jack and Daniel - Full Circle - III Rising Pressure

by Annejackdanny



Series: Still Jack and Daniel Series 3  - Full Circle [3]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Dark, Kid Fic, Little Daniel - Freeform, M/M, Rape, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 22:49:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/643793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annejackdanny/pseuds/Annejackdanny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cont. from "Showdown" - Ba'al wants to play with his new toy, Jack wants to kill Ba'al... the battle continues on all levels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Jack and Daniel - Full Circle - III Rising Pressure

**Author's Note:**

> Contains major angst, non-con and attempted rape and someone dies - so, with this, you have been warned.

**Still Jack and Daniel**

–

**Full Circle**

**III**  
  


**Rising Pressure**

**I**

He was in the bathroom again looking for scented oils. The skin on his skull still throbbed from Ba'al's 'hairplay' and so did the right side of his face. But it was nothing more than an inconvenience compared to what most likely lay ahead of him. 

His _master_ had decided Daniel's proper training with Mora'I would start after they had 'played and rested' for a while. 

Daniel realized that some of the Goa'uld's daily life routines and rituals had never been part of his studies. Sure, he knew about the who-was-who in both, Goa'uld society and Earth mythology, terms. He knew about hierarchies in 'families' and military ranks. 

He also knew about certain ceremonies such as the choosing of a host and the implantation of prim'tas into young Jaffa. He had witnessed how the priests on Chulak worshiped their god Apophis. Apophis had kept a harem of beautiful young women for entertainment. Ra had had a thing for little boys... Daniel was grateful Ba'al at least didn't seem to be attracted to kids. 

Yet, some of the areas about how life was in the inner circle of the system lords, about what went on behind closed doors, was unknown to Daniel. And he really didn't give a damn about finding out. But here he was, experiencing anthropology in living color. He could write an essay, maybe.

Maybe not. 

He found a built-in cabinet next to the mirror. Its doors slid aside when he pushed a bull head shaped button. The bull had been Ba'al's symbol on Earth. It stood for strength and fertility. He quickly studied the small flasks and picked one filled with oily blue liquid. Not sure what it would smell like, he opened it and sniffed. Lavender. No go. If he was going to be used and abused, he didn't need his nose tortured on top of it. He settled for an amber-colored oil that resembled sandalwood. 

A quick look through the other contents of the cabinet confirmed what he'd been afraid off. No lube. At least none of the bottles was labeled. Not that he had expected a huge tube of Astroglide in Ba'al's bathroom or something...

He could probably use one of the massage oils. Even if it backfired and he was allergic to them; getting an itch was better than having to take it dry – and he was pretty certain Ba'al wouldn't let him top. Something water-based would be better though. Daniel suppressed a frustrated sigh. He had no idea what all these flasks contained in the first place. No list of ingredients, and no 'for sensitive skin' labels. 

Daniel placed the chosen oil bottle carefully on the edge of the sink and closed the cabinet. His other instructions were clear and simple. He unfastened the armor collar from around his neck and stepped out of his jeans. Lo'taurs went commando, so no underwear to worry about.

He hung his... for lack of a better word... clothes on a hook by the door. After just a couple of hours he didn't have to shave again, but he used the bathtub once more for a quick cleaning. It could be worse for all he knew. At least Mora'i hadn't given him an enema kit – or the Goa'uld version of it. If there ever was such a thing. 

_Great. Now I'm wondering if Goa'uld and their sex slaves take enemas_ , he thought sourly. _If I find out, I'll write that essay after all. I'm sure the suits at our new Homeworld Security are dying to know this kind of stuff._

He went through the motions mechanically, only focusing on what he had to do. Ba'al had gone to make his presence known in the control room and had locked his quarters to make sure his Lo'taur wouldn't get any ideas. Daniel probably didn't have much time to prepare everything, so he quickly finished his bath, toweled off, and went in search of lubricant again. If nothing else he could use the bath additive and hope it was water-based.

_He won't get that far. He won't know what hit him before he gets me to spread my legs._

But reality was that Daniel had no idea what Ba'al would do. 

He took out his contacts and rinsed them under the tap water in the sink. He had adapted well to them over the year and no longer suffered from pink eye, but he had to keep them clean in order to wear them these long hours in a row. 

He put them back in and blinked at his image in the oversized mirror, wondering if he looked slutty and good enough to make Ba'al putty in his hands. If his makeshift plan would work or backfire badly. The bath had left his skin flushed and smooth. He'd have to work on getting rid of that deer-in-the-headlight look though. And work on his totally flaccid cock.

He was expected to be ready and excited. 

He was neither. 

A long time ago Jack used to whisper all this nonsense into his ear about being beautiful and gorgeous. Daniel had never seen that in himself, but by the way Jack's eyes had melted like liquid chocolate when he'd looked at him sometimes, Daniel was forced to believe him. Or at least he believed that Jack thought he was beautiful. And if Jack O'Neill used words like 'beautiful' and 'gorgeous' it had to mean something. 

Thinking of Jack cut like a knife. Made him realize what he was about to do. He remembered all the things he had said to Ba'al earlier. 

_It doesn't mean anything._

No, it didn't mean anything. But it was a reckless act, one that could get him raped and killed if he wasn't careful. And if the latter happened, he would have gone to bed with the devil for nothing.

Either way, if he didn't hurry he wouldn't even have a snowball's chance in hell to make this work. 

He decided to use the massage oil to prep himself for the worst. He picked up the flask to go back into the bedroom and transform into the slut Ba'al wanted him to be. 

Yet, he stood rooted to the spot, his gaze transfixed on the mirror. Daniel's fingertips touched the glass as though to make sure it was really his own image reflecting back at him. 

_I need to look up if being raped bareback by overdressed parasitic aliens is part of my contract,_ he thought acidly. 

At the gentle touch, and to Daniel's surprise, the mirror slid away without a sound, revealing a hidden compartment of shelves. Daniel's eye caught a small corked phial. Curious, he picked it up and raised his eyebrows at the color of its contents. Pink? He shook it and watched as tiny glistening particles sparkled in the mixture. Turning the bottle over in his hands he found a miniscule inscription on its bottom. He had a little trouble reading the scribbled word. Text, not glyphs, in Goa'uld. 

_Nishta_. 

“Nishta?” he whispered. “What the...” 

“It is to tame your dis'tra's hunger,” a voice, coming from behind, him said snidely.

Daniel almost dropped the phial. “Please, stop doing that, Mora'i.”

“Lord Ba'al wishes me to let you know you are relieved of your duty of tending to the prisoners for tonight. He also wishes me to make sure you are ready for him,” the Jaffa said. 

“Ah, thank you,” Daniel spluttered and resisted the childish urge to cover his nudity with his hands. With forced calmness he moved past the man and picked up one of the towels. Wrapping it around his waist, he asked, “How does this nishta work?”

“There is not much time. I talk. You listen.” 

“Right. I'll listen.” He glanced at the door. Ba'al could be back any moment...

“Use the nishta sparingly. Only one or two drops added to the massage oil will make sure your dis'tra relaxes and is open to suggestions once the nishta has been absorbed by his skin. Be aware, though, that if you use it too often it will fail to work. Only use it when the lord wants to take you in anger. He often does so after a lost battle.” 

“I only know nishta as a gas compound,” Daniel said. “This is different.”

“It is an altered form of nishta. Well known by most Lo'taurs who want to avoid injuries like tearing or worse during the joining with their dis'tra. It affects your god's mind and will fog his anger. But be warned; it will not make him completely submissive, nor will it alleviate the lust. It is a very mild form of nishta, only intended to take the edge off aggression. But it will help.” 

Mora'i gave Daniel a smile. “You made it through the tea ceremony with only minor punishment I see.” 

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” Daniel looked at the nishta phial, then back at Mora'i. “How long will the effect last?”

“Hopefully until you have satisfied him.” Mora'i clucked his tongue. “Use it for your first time if you are a virgin.” He reached into another shelf and retrieved a small glass bowl. “Pour and mix in here and take it with you.”

Daniel uncorked the phial and did the same with the oil flask. He poured a generous amount of the oil into the bowl and added two drops of the nishta. The pink liquid immediately merged with the oil. To Daniel's surprise the oil didn't change color, it merely turned a tad darker. 

“Leave the towel,” Mora'i instructed him sharply. “We do not wish to displease the dis'tra. Modesty is the least of your concerns.” 

With an inward sigh Daniel slipped off the towel and threw it over the edge of the tub. Mora'i pursed his lips. “You will not please your god this way. Come with me.”

“Ba'al doesn't know there's nishta hidden in his bathroom?” he asked Mora'i as they entered the bedroom together.

“It is Lord Ba'al or dis'tra,” Mora'i chided sharply. “Do not forget to address him properly or you will regret it.”

“ _Lord_ Ba'al doesn't know about the nishta?” Daniel asked impatiently. He placed the bowl with oil on a small table by the bed. 

Mora'i shook his head. “The dis'tra never opens the cabinets as he will be soaped, toweled and oiled by his Lo'taur. As he was without a Lo'taur for a while I have taken over these domestic duties. He would not do these lower tasks himself. You will also learn how to dress him.”

“Of course I will,” Daniel muttered. 

“Quick, get on the bed. Do you know how to pleasure yourself?”

 _Oh, come on..._ “Yes.”

“If you do not please our god you will die before the night is over, no matter how much he fancies you.”

“I'm fine.” He climbed onto the impossibly large bed. The sheets felt cool and silky under his body. Stretching his legs he tried to get comfortable. Several thick pillows were propped behind his head and back. 

Mora'i eyed him critically. “Hurry.”

 _Can't you just leave? Drop dead? Get out?_ “I'd rather be alone for this,” Daniel ground out. “If you don't mind.” 

“If our god returns and you are not the way he wants you, we are both going to pay for it,” Mora'i snapped. Suddenly his eyes softened and he said in a more gentle manner. “Think of someone you love. Of something that excites you. Get yourself into the mood. The sooner you learn, the sooner I will leave you to it.”

A hand found a nipple and tweaked it hard enough to erect. His other hand brushed over his abs and further down, then stilled just above the area where his pubic hair used to be. 

God, he couldn't. Not like this. No way.

To distract himself, Daniel asked, “What happened to Jerome, Mora'i? Why isn't he still the Lo'taur?”

“He was killed by Anubis last year. Lord Ba'al took a woman then, but she was killed as well.”

“I'm sorry.” 

“It is not your fault. Jerome was sent to Anubis as a gift, but Anubis did not appreciate him,” Mora'i explained. “The dis'tra should never have sent Jerome. Jerome worshiped him so much. He would have done everything to please him. Anything. Lord Ba'al should have kept him safe.” The old man shook his head. “But it has happened.”

Daniel stared at his adviser intently. “But Lord Ba'al didn't keep him safe. He owned him and therefore he could use him and dispose of him in any way he wanted.”

“Do not talk like this!” 

“Your nephew loved Ba'al,” Daniel plowed on relentlessly. “And Ba'al threw him away.”

“It is what we do. Follow our dis'tra's orders. To fulfill his needs and to sacrifice ourselves for him if he commands it,” Mora'i said, his voice slightly trembling. “Speak of this no more!”

“Do you have other family members in training to become Lo'taur one day?” 

“I have two sisters in the service of Lord Ba'al and two of their sons in training to become Lo'taur, yes. Strong, beautiful young men. They will serve their master well,” Mora'i replied with a tinge of defiance.

“Until they, too, will die for him. Until they, too, will be sacrificed at his will.”

“What will be, will be.” But Mora'i seemed to age in front of Daniel. He looked tired and defeated. 

“Help me,” Daniel whispered. “Help me to get rid of him. Join Teal'c and Bra'tac. They'll make sure you’re safe and eventually you can contact your family and convince them to join the rebellion.”

“No. And you should stop this blasphemy at once.” But there was no real conviction in the old Jaffa's voice. 

Daniel knew his next words could mean his death. If Mora'i was truly loyal to Ba'al, or too scared of the consequences should he fail... “Most of the system lords are defeated, Mora'i. Ba'al and Anubis are the most powerful ones left, and Anubis is going to take over the galaxy.”

“He will not succeed. Lord Ba'al is almighty,” Mora'i said numbly. 

“Ba'al is running away. We're on our way to another galaxy called Pegasus right now.”

“Ba'al is going to battle Anubis!”

“No. He deceived us. We’re not going back to Earth. He has no fleet. How do you expect him to battle Anubis?”

“The fleet has been fighting replicators. Most of Ba'al's ships are still engaged in that battle. He will squash Anubis beneath him with the help of the Tau'ri weapon. I have heard so from the guards,” Mora'i insisted.

Well, that answered why there was no army at Ba'al's back. So Ba'al not only deceived them, he had also abandoned his whole fleet. Left them to die. The replicators took no prisoners. Was that why he had taken the opportunity in the first place? Because he knew the replicators were going to win this war? Was Ba'al sure that Anubis would eventually be stopped by them, too? 

_May he bask in his victory for a while._ That's what Ba'al had said during the tea ceremony.

Then there was the long lack of Asgard contact over the last couple of months...

If the replicators had gained that much of a foothold in the galaxy, maybe Anubis wasn't Earth's biggest problem after all. 

Daniel shook his head. He had to deal with the problem at hand first. “He's taking this ship on a very long journey. He will only stop to pick up his queen and some luggage. He wants to build a new empire. You won't see your family again, Mora'i. And they will all be at the mercy of Anubis very soon.”

Mora'i didn't reply, but Daniel carefully watched the display of emotions on the old Jaffa's face. Disbelief, denial, fear. 

“Mora'i, we can help you. Ba'al will have to take off his body shield so I can touch him.”

A short, bitter laugh answered this. “He is no fool. He will put it to a lower setting that will allow you to touch him, but nothing more. I do not know how it works, but it will not allow you to injure him. “

Daniel felt as though someone had poured a bucket of ice water over him. “What?!” 

“He tested this device on another servant. If put to a lower setting the shield will allow body contact, but it will react immediately if you try to strike him down,” Mora'i provided. “You cannot defeat him.”

Daniel threw his head back against the pillows in frustration. Okay, this was bad. According to Jack there was always a Plan B. However, this had been the famous Plan B since he hadn’t been able to just talk Ba'al into going back to Earth. He needed a Plan C. 

Okay...

Maybe he had a Plan C.

“Right, but he'll be distracted. I'll get that thing off him,” Daniel said fiercely. “If you could go and wait behind the curtains by his sarcophagi to bring me the battle axe once he's down? I can't kill him, but I need a weapon to defend myself if necessary.”

Mora'i stared at him in stunned disbelief for a moment. Then he shook his head. “No. I can not do what you ask. You are a fool to think you can defeat Lord Ba'al. He is our dis'tra. We do not defy him. If it is his wish to take us into another galaxy, so be it. I will not support your crazy plans. I will not have anything to do with this.” 

“Mora'i...”

But the Lo'taur adviser turned a stiff back on him, and stalked out without another word.

“Thanks for nothing,” Daniel said flatly to the empty room. It seemed everything he tried, every idea he came up with, was squashed. It was as though fate was laughing at him, slamming all the doors he found in his face. 

_Get your act together,_ he told himself. _You've been through worse. Plan D, anyone?_

But fact was that he hadn't. He'd been tortured, bruised, shot at, stabbed – yes, even killed – before. Hathor had rendered him into a drugged sex puppet once. But he'd never been forced to masturbate under these conditions. Had never been forced to let a Goa'uld fuck him while he was fully aware and not under some kind of mind control...

 _He won't fuck you, Daniel. You won't let him fuck you_ , a voice in his head whispered and it sounded suspiciously like Jack's. _Get on with it. Make him squirm and drool and then kick his ass to netu. You can do it._

He closed his eyes for a second, grateful for this little bit of comfort his subconsciousness provided. 

He could do this. 

Daniel forced himself to move off the bed and rearrange the statues just enough for his advantage. He considered getting the axe, but couldn't find a place to hide it close by. The bed was built on the pedestal and had no space underneath. He had to get Ba'al down first and hope he'd reach the sarc chamber somehow. 

Then he took a quick detour to the bathroom to get the oil bottle. Back on the bed he quickly poured a generous amount of oil into his palm and over his fingers. If he didn't need a clear head for this he'd probably use the nishta-flavored oil on himself, too. To make this more bearable. But he couldn't afford to screw this up. He knew he had only one chance of doing this right. 

He spread his legs and leaned back, sinking into the soft silky pillows. 

_Relax._ Jack's voice in his head again. Kind of weird, but a nice way to cope. 

“Relaxing here,” Daniel murmured. 

Like the shaving, he had done this several times before. Something else he'd never thought he'd do anywhere but in the private safety of his or Jack's bedroom or the cabin. Jack had done it, too. The memory that stuck out to Daniel most was Jack, naked, down by the pond while Daniel had watched and almost come just from the sight of his lover spread-eagle in that deck chair, long fingers curled around his gradually hardening cock... 

_...Jack held his gaze the entire time, a mischievous gleam in brown eyes, knowing exactly what affect it had on Daniel. Jack didn't utter a single sound as he brought himself to the edge by his own hands, watching Daniel watch him. When Daniel knew Jack was getting very close he quickly went down on him..._

...Daniel let his thoughts drift back to that day as he was playing with his nipples while the fingers of his other hand opened him up and spread the lube where it was most needed. If Ba'al had a thing for jumping him first and getting his massage later he'd be prepared as well as possible... 

_...Jack began to tremble at the contact with Daniel's mouth. After that it only took one suck and..._

It had been a bet. One of those silly truth-or-dare things they had gotten into sometimes at the cabin. 

Minnesota had been their 'no limits' place. They had to hold back on too many things while being at work. Had to be very careful when being off work, too. Minnesota had been their hair-down zone. They could spent whole days without getting dressed there if they wanted – in or out of bed. Could step out of their lives for precious weekends, sometimes a week. 

He clung to the memories of those days as he touched himself, worked himself up until his body finally submitted to the stroking and rubbing. The sandalwood scent was like a cocoon, lulling him in. Daniel knew why he had chosen this. They used to have sandalwood oil at home. Used to rub it into each other’s sore and tired bodies after particularly hard missions. Sometimes it had led to sex, sometimes it was just a massage; a way of comforting each other and easing the soreness. 

“I am pleased,” Ba'al's voice jerked him out of his trance-like state.

Daniel blinked and stilled, one hand cupped around his balls, the other on his smooth broad hairless chest. “You wished me to be ready, my lord.”

“Do not move.” 

“Yes, my lord.”

Ba'al stood there for several long moments, just admiring. “Spread your legs wider,” he finally ordered and Daniel gritted his teeth and did as he was told.

Again the Goa'uld just looked on for a while, his face unreadable. 

Finally...

“Turn over. Keep your legs spread.” 

“Yes, my lord,” Daniel replied. He wasn't going to give this monster any reason to be displeased. He wasn't going to blow it. He slowly turned and was on his hands and knees, spreading his legs. He hung his head, squeezed his eyes tightly shut, took a couple of calming breaths and waited.

Waited.

When the penetrating finger came, he only clenched once. 

_Relax._

_Breathe._

He let out a low hiss of pain when a second finger was applied immediately, but he stayed in position as he was stretched and probed. At least he was lubed up enough to avoid minor injuries.

“You prepared yourself well,” Ba'al's voice came from behind him. He was almost humming with pleasure, a lustful, dark timbre. 

The fingers were moved in and out more gently now and Ba'al's other hand reached lower and cupped his balls, fondling them. Daniel tried to relax and allowed his body to react to the touches which were usually a turn on. He had no choice but to let it happen because there was no point in doing it at all if he didn't do it right. 

Imagining it was Jack's hands on his body, Daniel was trying to return to that happy place in his mind where he was cherished and told he was beautiful and gorgeous and where to touch and be touched meant to love and be loved. And even though it hadn't been exactly like this in a long time, the memories were still there, still fresh enough to be comforting, to help him get through this.

Opening his legs a little more he rocked back on those stroking and twisting fingers, giving Ba'al what he wanted. He felt himself harden and swallowed the gasp that threatened to leave his mouth. Ba'al squeezed his balls once, then let go. 

Adrenalin shot through Daniel's veins, making him shudder slightly. 

“Very nice indeed,” Ba'al murmured and removed his fingers. 

“Turn around.” When Daniel did as he was told, Ba'al stepped away from the bed and beckoned him with one hand. “Undress me.”

“Yes, my lord.” He lowered himself off the bed and approached Ba'al on wobbly legs. His eyes darted to the band holding the small device around the Goa'uld's wrist. He had seen a similar body shield on LD when he'd come to free them from Anubis's ship. 

How did it come off? 

Ba'al stood unmoving as Daniel walked around him and opened the silver shirt at the back, then pulled it off him. He went to open the belt and leather pants which had buttons from the waist all the way down to his crotch. Knowing how much his _master_ liked his Lo'taur to be submitting Daniel went down to one knee as he opened the buttons of the pants. He even managed not to jerk his head away when the half erect 'little Ba'al' sprang free and almost poked him in the face. 

_Learned something new yet again_ , he thought, _Goa'uld go commando too. At least this one does._

Not sure what was expected of him, Daniel just stared at it in bewildered amazement. In the back of his mind he noticed a musky, tangy smell, but not very strong. Maybe the symbiotes could regulate perspiration and body odor. What had him transfixed, though, was the possibility of getting this _thing_ rammed up his ass... 

He'd been mortified, disgusted, and angry.

Now, for the first time since he’d known he'd be doing this, real fear was creeping up on him.

It was huge.

Ba'al chuckled. “Are you still impressed, Daniel?” 

Daniel felt the familiar jolt of pain as Ba'al yanked his hair again. “Continue! You'll have time to worship me later.” 

_Oh, thank you_ , Daniel thought from the bottom of his heart. He had expected being forced to... Not going there. He quickly removed Ba'al pants and boots. When he attempted to put the clothes away, Ba'al ordered him to leave them for now. 

He was told to wait by the bed. 

He watched as Ba'al stretched out on his front. “Do not attempt to attack me,” he said lightly. “The body shield will still work. And there is a guard waiting outside my door as well.”

“We have an agreement, my lord. I will honor it,” Daniel said quietly.

“Do not forget it,” Ba'al warned. 

“Never, my lord.” 

“Use the oil. And do it skillfully,” Ba'al ordered. 

So Daniel was skilful. He applied the nishta oil to Ba'al's body. Rubbed and stroked the rippling, strong back muscles and shoulders. His hands found every knot and kink with long years of practice from doing this to Jack – and to Fergus a couple of times. Ba'al's body was honed to perfection. Silky olive skin over hard muscles, a narrow waist, pert ass. 

Daniel had rarely been in bed with a man more attractive in every sense of the word. Granted, he'd not been in bed with many men. He'd only been with Jack and Fergus up until now. And however attractive this bastard was, he didn't hold a candle to either one of them. 

“Your arms, my lord,” Daniel said when Ba'al's back and legs were done. His skin was shining in the light of the bedroom now. The oil was absorbed quickly, leaving a faint glow. 

“Hmm... not yet.” Ba'al turned around and presented himself in all his glory. 

Suppressing a sigh, Daniel began to work once more. He remembered how he had counted all of Jack's scars once, had pressed his lips to each and every one of them. “What are you doing?” Jack had asked, stretching his body like a cat taking a sun bath. “Kissing them all better,” he had replied with a grin and Jack had chuckled and insisted on returning the favor even though Daniel's body hadn't been as scarred as Jack's back then. Probably wasn't scarred as badly now even though he had gained a couple more over the years. 

Daniel felt Ba'al's eyes on him as he rubbed oil into his chest and ribs. Suddenly his chin was caught in an iron grip and he was pulled down, by the hand not wearing the body shield, for a bruising kiss. Ba'al's tongue forced its way into Daniel's mouth. At first Daniel was paralyzed, then he returned the kiss with desperation. 

_Soon,_ Jack's voice whispered somewhere in the back of his head. _Bide your time. Hang in there. Give him what he wants._

_I can't. I just can't._

_Yes, you can._

_Can't._

_Can._

_Can't..._

He was released as abruptly as it happened. Ba'al traced a single finger down Daniel's face. “You remind me of him.”

“My lord?”

“Jerome. He was in my service for many years. He was the most beautiful slave I ever had,” Ba'al whispered. “The most faithful one, too.” 

“What happened to him, my lord?” Daniel asked, keeping his own voice low. He knew what had had happened to poor Jerome, but he saw the dark eyes in front of him soften and whether it was the nishta or the memories of Jerome, it was exactly what he'd been waiting for.

“I had to send him away,” Ba'al murmured. 

“Why?” Daniel went back to stroking his oiled hands over Ba'al's body; abs, hips... 

“I was getting too close. Attachment to your slaves can only go so far. Getting too close means weakness. I gave him to Anubis as a gift when we allied for a while. I made it a condition that he would be treated well, but Anubis killed him soon after to taunt me.” Ba’al cocked his head and gave Daniel a strange look. “Do you think it would make O’Neill mad if I killed you?” 

_You have no idea how mad he already is, just knowing you are ogling my ass_ , Daniel thought. “I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. 

Ba’al chuckled. “I think he would be very displeased, indeed.”

 _He knows,_ Daniel thought with a sliver of panic, _he doesn’t buy what I told him about Jack not being interested anymore. Or maybe he’s just playing games again._

There was no time to dwell on it either way.

Daniel sat back on his heels and massaged the left shoulder, then brushed his fingers down the arm to his wrist. When Ba'al didn't object to this, he did it again. And again. His eyes were fixed on the body shield. There was no button, no switch. It probably had a sensor. 

“I will do my best to serve you as well as he did,” he said.

Ba'al chuckled. “Will you now? I doubt that, my young friend. Jerome felt true honor in serving me. He didn't demand conditions and trades. He didn't try to deceive me.”

“I am not trying to deceive you, my lord.”

“Oh, you will. But I will not let you succeed.” Ba'al pulled his arm away and came up on one elbow. The Goa'uld's other hand was in Daniel's hair again and once more he found himself on the receiving end of Ba'al's mouth devouring his. When Daniel's head was yanked back to bare his throat, he knew what was coming. The bite was sharp, the sucking long and brutal.

“The first step of marking you,” Ba'al whispered finally. “The first of many more to come.” 

He let go of Daniel. “Use your skilled hands for something more exciting. Be quick. We do not have as much time as I usually like to take for this.”

“Yes, my lord.” He stretched out next to Ba'al on his side. His hand slid down Ba'al's abs, carded through his black trimmed pubic hair and closed around his cock. The body heat Ba'al emitted seemed to increase in his genitals. Daniel turned out every thought connected to whom he was doing this and let his hands work a well known job.

“Soon I will claim you as mine,” Ba'al moaned, his breathing speeding up already. “Then you will have the pleasure of using your mouth on me. Then we will sleep... if you performed well.” 

Ba'al was stroking Daniel's hair now, then his back, all the way down to his ass where he started to knead and rub Daniel's left buttock. 

He felt the swell of Ba'al's erection in his hand, trailed down a finger to Ba'al's heavy sac, cupped it into his palm and massaged it. Gentle. Tenderly - at the same time wondering what it would feel like to clamp his hand around it and squeeze as hard as he could. 

A moan escaped the Goa'uld as he started to tremble and sweat. 

Daniel felt kind of light-headed suddenly. 

_The nishta_ , he thought, _I have it all over my hands_.

Of course. It was affecting him, too. Why hadn't he thought of that? 

_It wouldn't have changed anything._

Daniel continued what he was doing until he heard the hoarse command, “On your hands and knees. Now.” 

As he moved to obey, he realized it was now or never. Instead of taking the position he sat up and gently caught Ba'al's wrist in his hands. “Your fingers again, please,” he whispered. “I can't take you just yet. You are too hard, too long, too big.” He raised Ba'al's hand to his lips and kissed the tips of his fingers. “Please, my dis'tra, pleasure me with your fingers first.”

Ba'al smiled, undiluted lust in his black, feverish eyes. “How many fingers, hmm?”

“Two,” Daniel moaned. “Three. Four.” He continued to kiss and nibble Ba'al's fingers, his own hand edging closer... closer... to its goal. 

And then, before the lust-driven, nishta-drugged bastard realized what was going on, Daniel felt the body shield vibrate under his touch. Hoping he had done the right thing he pulled back and smashed a fist into Ba'al's face, enjoying the wild triumph as his knuckles contacted with the aristocratic nose and he heard the crunching sound as it broke. 

But even with the nishta to slow him down, Ba'al's reflexes were fast and deadly.

Daniel was thrown off immediately and landed on the floor next to the bed. Blindly his hands reached for one of the smaller statues he had positioned here earlier. He found it, grabbed it, surged to his feet and let it crash down on Ba'al's wrist just as the Goa'uld was about to adjust his shield again. 

Ba'al howled in pain and was off the bed in a flash, but Daniel had seen it coming. He was prepared. 

“Playtime's over,” he hissed, out of breath, as he pounced on the Goa'uld. Together they spun around, stumbled, and went down. They fell off the pedestal and Daniel got hold of Ba'al's injured wrist, twisting it until he heard another crunch of breaking bones. He pulled at the band holding the body shield in place and let out a yell of victory as it slipped off easily. 

Not a moment too early.

Ba'al, screaming in pain and rage, jerked his wrist free of Daniel's grip and shook him off like an insect. “I will kill you, shol'va!” 

Daniel staggered backwards, fumbling with the body shield to attach it around his own wrist. But his hands were sweaty and still a little slippery from the oil. With a jolt of panic he felt it slide and drop to the floor. 

Ba'al was coming. 

And he was coming fast.

Daniel got hold of another statue – a naked posing Ba'al – and wielded it like a club. Ba'al managed to block the strike aimed at his head, but still took a hit to his right shoulder. The statue burst and a shower of white marble or plaster or whatever they were made off, rained down on the raging snake. 

Daniel managed to kick the shield out of the way just as Ba'al lunged for it in a full body dive. Ba'al rolled over his shoulder and was back on his feet, ready to attack again. 

Daniel needed that axe.

He needed the body shield.

But both were out of reach. 

He lured Ba'al across the room, away from the shield that was now under the tea table. 

“Di'dak'dida,” Ba'al hissed. “You DARE trying to fight me?!”

“I'm taking my chances,” Daniel snarled. “You know what?” He threw another statue, but Ba'al dodged it easily this time. “You're not even good!”

“You should have waited for the taking,” Ba'al snorted. “You didn't get a real taste of me, yet.” He dodged another of those statues and Daniel knew he'd better come up with something else to throw at him. He was naked, without a weapon and only the adrenalin kept him going.

The only upside was that Ba'al was naked, too, as he strode towards Daniel, his impressive manhood fully erect.

Daniel knew he really shouldn't do this... “You going to impale me with _that_?” A wild, short laugh that could have been a cry wound its way out of him at the murderous roar Ba'al let out. 

The Goa'uld seemed to grow as large as his shadow on the wall as he came closer. Daniel was fast, but not fast enough. A powerful blow sent him to the left and he was down. Rolling away from the kick aimed at his ribs, he came to his knees when something hit his lower back and knocked him to the ground again. 

Lying face down on the cold floor Daniel's hands reached blindly for something to defend himself with and when his fingers closed around something long and hard he grabbed it, threw himself around and just hit wherever he would reach on Ba'al's body. He watched in fascinated horror as the throwing stick made contact with Ba'al groin. 

Some of the sticks must have fallen to the floor when the sideboard had been hit by one of the statues. 

Ba'al howled, staggered, and his own forward motion made him drop heavily right next to Daniel. 

Daniel assumed Ba'al had hit him with one of those sticks, too. His back was screaming murder as he tried to get up, so he clawed himself forward on his front, inch by inch, away from his tormenter, holding on to the rugs and pulling his legs with him. A hand snatched his ankle, then let go. He heard Ba'al howl again somewhere behind him. Daniel expected to be attacked any moment, any second... he reached the tea table. The blood was rushing in his ears and all he could think of was to get to that body shield or die...

His trembling hand curled around the shield. He slipped it around his wrist and felt a gentle vibration as it came back to life. He stared at it, trying to make sense of the tiny symbols written on it, and pressed one miniscule sensor to increase its power. 

Slowly he sat up, his back still on fire. Holding the arm wearing the body shield to his chest like a precious treasure, Daniel slowly turned to face Ba'al, who was back on his feet.

Coming at him again. 

The Goa'uld had lost the erection and gained a nasty purple bruise instead. There was nothing but a raving desire to kill in those flashing eyes. Daniel struggled to his feet and opened his arms wide as though he wanted to embrace the devil. 

“Come, get me,” he panted. “And get what's been coming to you.” 

Ba'al was too mad to stop. Too full of hate and rage to slow down. He slammed right into Daniel with full force, but somehow Daniel managed to stay on his feet during the attack. With a hum and a bristle the energy jolt of the body shield threw Ba'al backwards, halfway across the room... 

...and right at Teal'c's boots. 

Teal'c, who had appeared out of thin air with Ba'al's battle axe in his hand. 

Teal'c, who looked down at Ba'al in disgust and calmly positioned the blade of the axe against his throat. 

“Teal'c,” Daniel panted. “Nice timing.”

“Are you injured, DanielJackson?” Teal'c asked without taking his eyes off Ba'al.

“Ah, I'll...,” he cleared his throat, “I'll live.”

Teal'c pressed the sharp, ornamental blade against Ba'al's throat. A thin trickle of blood appeared. “How do we open the bracelets?” 

“Kal shaka mel!” Ba'al spat. 

“It is you who will go to hell,” Teal'c replied icily. “Very soon.” 

“Then your precious child and the Ha'shak will die.”

“Teal'c.” 

Daniel blinked, not sure where Jack had suddenly come from. But he was there and he was carrying his gun and a staff. His jaw was swollen and the right sleeve of his jacket hung down in shreds. Daniel couldn't see any blood though. 

“Step aside,” Jack ordered calmly, holding out the staff to Teal'c who took it and lowered the axe to the ground. He moved away from Ba'al, staff ready to shoot.

Jack pointed his gun at Ba'al's face. “You should have left my kid alone, boccie.”

Ba'al rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Spare me.”

“And you should never,” Jack's thumb brushed tenderly over the trigger, “ _never_ have messed with...a member of my team.” 

“Jack, NO!” Daniel yelled. 

“ _Yes_ , Daniel,” Jack said, voice deadly and quiet. He jerked the gun away from Ba'al's head and pulled the trigger.

The shot was earsplitting. So was Ba'al's scream as his body jerked off the floor and slumped back down again. Blood was pumping from the hole in his chest with every heaving breath he took. “Fool,” he hissed before his eyes flashed once more and his head fell to one side. 

Jack grimaced and turned away from him. “Put him in the sarc,” he ordered curtly. “I want to do that again.”

Teal'c raised an eyebrow, but didn't ask any questions. He manhandled Ba'al roughly over one shoulder.

He carried the lifeless body through the burgundy curtains, leaving splotches of blood on the rugs and the floor. 

Daniel stared at the drops, dark on the black ground, brown-ish on the rugs. Then he looked up and into Jack's hard face, the tightly set jaw and the stony dark eyes.

He felt the adrenaline rush from his body, felt his knees threatening to give in. He turned away, numb and drained. A silence as loud as C4 blowing up in close range followed him into the bathroom.

**II**

_I want to do that again._

Jack pushed the trigger back to “S” and shouldered his P90 before he joined Teal'c in the small room behind those curtains. “How long?”

“It was a single shot. Several minutes until he will be revived.”

Jack stared at the golden monstrosity and thought of the monster inside. When they'd ask him how to open the bracelets again later he hoped Ba'al wasn't going to tell them just so he'd have an excuse to killi him again... and again. 

“I must speak to his Jaffa,” Teal'c said.

Jack pried his eyes away from the sarc. “You think they'll follow you?”

“They are without a leader now. Seeing that their god has been defeated will help them make a decision. The old man, Mora'i, took a great risk in freeing us. If he follows me, so may the others.”

Teal'c's new ally had muttered and complained about not wanting to be involved in any of this all the time. Yet, he had opened Teal'c's cell and told him where Daniel was and what Ba'al had in mind for him. Then he'd come to free Jack, LD and Carter.

Mora'i had distracted the Jaffa guarding the throne room by telling them Ba'al wanted to see them ASAP. The moment of surprise had given them exactly the advantage they needed and between Jack and Carter they had knocked those guys out while Mora'i kept the kid out of the line of fire. Carter had taken used the Asgard transporter to send Jack into the armory where he'd armed himself. In the meantime Carter had started to transport every single Jaffa on the ship into holding cells. Jack had geared up, taken a staff for Teal'c, and Carter had sent him on to Ba'al's quarters. 

If everything had gone according to Plan A, Ba'al's Jaffa were all locked up by now, with plenty of time to think about joining the “I will die free” rebellion. 

“What will happen to Ba'al?”

Jack's jaw twitched. “I need to know how to get rid of those bracelets.”

“He will not tell us unless we spare his life,” Teal'c said with disdain.

“He'll change his mind.”

“You will torture him.”

And so what if he wanted to? What if he did? “Don't tell me I'm a better man than that,” he spat. 

“It will not make undone what Ba'al has done to the Daniels,” Teal'c pointed out. There was no disapproval in his voice; he was just stating a fact. 

No, it wouldn't change anything that had been done. That was a lesson they had all learned the hard way and Jack didn't need reminding. 

Yet, right now he didn't give a damn. He wanted to hurt, to inflict as much pain – and more – as Ba’al had to Jackson. 

Jack gritted his teeth. “Put him into a holding cell. No clothes, no food. We'll see how stubborn he really is.” After a moment he asked, “You need help with the scum bucket?”

All he got was the eyebrow of doom and a long indignant look. 

“Didn't think so.” He activated his radio. “This is O'Neill. Carter, you all clear?”

Her reply came immediately. “We're clear, sir. Did you...”

“Yeah. Ba'al's out of the count for the moment.”

“What about Daniel, sir?”

“He's...” Getting dressed? Freaking out? What? “He'll be okay. How's our kid?” 

“He's a bit agitated. He came around again a couple of minutes ago and I think he wants to go back to the cargo bay to finish his... machinus.” 

Jack was too wound up to really feel the relief. He only knew it was there. LD in Ancient mode was an upside to LD in zoned-out-mode. “Keep an eye on him. Where's Mora'i? You got all the Jaffa locked up?”

“Positive, sir, all of them are in holding cells. Mora'i is on his way back to you. He's pretty shook up, sir. I think he wants to make sure Ba'al is really under control.” 

“Copy that. Take Daniel to the control room and set course back to Earth. We'll be there, O'Neill out.” He checked his watch, wondering if Jackson had had enough alone time to take a deep breath and get dressed. 

Though the real question was; could Jack face him without making all of this worse. Leaving Ba'al to Teal'c he stepped out into the sickeningly luxurious bedchamber, or however His Royal Snakeness liked to call its quarters. 

Jackson sat on a chaise, dressed in his jeans. He was looking at something under his right foot, but jerked his head up when Jack's boots scraped over the pieces of some pottery or bust that had crashed in the fight. 

For a moment his eyes widened in horror. Then, recognizing Jack, he blinked and frowned. “I need my boots. Or _some_ boots.” 

“We'll find them.”

“Cut my foot. These shards are all over the floor.” He sounded calm. Upbeat even.

Cut his foot. No big deal. 

Crap.

Jack crouched and looked at it. “It's just a scratch. Carter has her med kit somewhere in the cargo bay. We should get outta here.”

When he looked up from his place at Jackson's feet, he saw the hickey. A nasty, red one at Jackson's throat, slightly swollen. 

Jack saw the hickey and the hot red haze of rage returned. But it melted away just as fast as it had flared up. He didn't know what to say. How to make this better. Right now all they could do was move on. 

Jack got up, shrugged out of his jacket and held it out to him. 

Jackson stared at it for a moment, then stood and pulled it on. “What happened?” he asked, waving his arm with the torn sleeve.

“Oh, you know, one of those Jaffa wanted a piece of it,” Jack joked it off. “You ready?”

He got no reply. Jackson stood frozen, his gaze fixed on something behind Jack's back. Jack turned around and together they watched the horrible and powerful Ba'al being escorted out of his quarters buck naked and with a staff aimed at his ass. 

Jack had never seen T. look so smug in his life. 

“Well, that helps,” Jackson said dryly. His fingers trembled just slightly as he zipped Jack's jacket. He wrapped his arms around himself. 

“C'mon, let's go,” Jack said quietly. 

“I'm glad you didn't shoot off his face,” Jackson said. “I'm not sue the sarc could have repaired that. And we need him alive because of these. That's why I yelled at you.” He held up his wrist.

Jack gave him a gentle pat on the back to start him moving. “Good thinking.”

“I should have done that,” Jackson said gloomily as they were walking out the door. “I should have shot him. After all _I_ had his fingers up my ass and his tongue down my throat.”

 _Fingers_ , Jack registered somewhere in the back of his mind. Relief and the need to throttle the stupid, reckless idiot struggled for a moment. For now, relief won. Fingers and tongue was bad enough. But it could have been worse. Much worse. 

_And what if it wasn't just fingers and tongue? What if he's not telling the rest of it?_

Mora'I hastened down the corridor, but slowed down when he saw them. “The shol'va is parading our dis'tra through the ship!” 

“Like the view?” Jack snarked.

“His wrath will be murderous,” Mora'I lamented. “He will let us die a hundred deaths!”

“No, he won't. He resigned. Gave up his god status. Now he's just a naked guy in a cell,” Jack said.

Mora'i took a calming breath. “You must excuse me. I have been brought up to serve the gods unconditionally. Ever since Lord Ba'al defeated Sokar I have been his servant. Lord Ba'al has never been defeated before. He lost ships, yes. Many men, yes. But this... this is... outrageous. I cannot believe this to be true! And yet, he has not been able to strike the shol'va down! He has not been able to free himself!”

“Ah, but it is true. He is no god. And you just made yourself a hero by helping us,” Jack said.

“I made myself an outcast! A shol'va! I will be hunted and disgraced like Teal'c and Bra'tac,” Mora'i griped. “I am too old for this!”

“Depends which side you're on. If you join the free Jaffa you'll be a hero for dispossessing Ba'al. They will celebrate your heroism and tell your story to their kids,” Jackson said. 

Mora'i sighed. “I am too old to become a hero, too. But I am glad you are alive.”

“Yes. Thank you. Thank you for coming through for me. For us.” Jackson gave the old Jaffa a smile that was too bright, too happy-go-lucky.

“If it will save my family from ending like Jerome, I did the right thing.” Mora'i murmured. 

Jack checked his watch. “We gotta get moving,” he ordered. “Find Teal'c and help him convince your people to join us. If they need convincing take them to see Ba'al. And if that doesn't bring them around...”

“Most of them will pledge their allegiance to Teal'c once they have seen their dis'tra humiliated and defeated,” Mora'i repeated what T had stated before. “Once they realize he cannot strike them down by sheer will, they will realize he is not a god. They will have to choose between death and giving their loyalty to Teal'c.”

With that the man hurried down the corridor. 

“You think we can trust him?” Jack asked doubtfully. 

“I think so, yes,” Jackson said. “He acted against all his beliefs. Against everything he'd been taught all his life.”

“Yeah, but a lifetime of manipulation can go a long way. What if his guilt gets the better of him? He's still calling Teal'c a shol'va.”

“He's calling himself a shol'va. He's not used to being able to make huge decisions for himself. You didn't have any trust issues with Teal'c back then.”

Jack sighed. “Teal'c had already been set on the right track by Bra'tac before we showed up. This guy has been loyal to Ba'al until we came along.” 

“You didn't know about Bra'tac when you trusted Teal'c to help us. It was a gut reaction. I made the same decision when I asked Mora'i for help,” Jackson said a tad too sharply. 

“Good enough.” They needed any support they could get. Teal'c would keep an eye on the old guy. 

Carter, who was at the helm, jumped to her feet as soon as they entered the control room. “Daniel! Are you all right?” 

“I'm fine.” The buoyant smile was back. So was the self-hug.

“How's our status, Major?” Jack asked, giving Carter a subtle head shake when she stepped closer. _Give him some space._

She nodded, message received, and smoothly went back to business. “Sir, we lost a lot of time. If we keep up this kind of speed the crystals will burn out eventually. If we slow down we might not have enough time to find the weapon before Anubis shows up.”

“Carter, we can't be late,” Jack ordered. 

“Yes, sir, I know, but...”

“No 'but'. We'll be there in plenty of time. Understood? Make it work.” He absently tousled LD's hair when he felt two short arms sneak around his middle. 

Carter stared at him for a moment, but he could already see the wheels turning in her head. “Well, this is a big ship. There's a chance there are more than just one replacement set of crystals. I just have to find them. I should be able to locate it from here.” 

“Knock yourself out.”

She rushed over to the helm and activated a control panel. When the holo screen appeared she pulled up an image of the ship's schematics. 

Jack patted Daniel's shoulders. “Hey, grasshopper, how ya doin'?”

“Add gradum,” he said as he let go of Jack. That was followed by a stream of words directed at Jackson.

“I found the crystals,” Carter reported. “They're in the engine room in a closed compartment. This way we can keep our current speed without dropping out of hyperspace. I'm still not sure about the time factor.” 

“Daniel says he can speed us up,” Jackson said. “He needs a Zat.”

Jack pulled a Zat from his belt. “Got Zat. Let's go.”

It only took a couple of minutes for them to reach the engine room and for Carter to find and replace the white and yellow crystals. 

Twenty-four hours twenty minutes to Ground Zero. 

Didn't seem too bad time wise. It had taken them seventeen hours to reach Praclarush, add the four hours they had gone in the wrong direction... at current speed they'd be home in approximately twenty one hours. Hopefully ahead of Anubis if things weren't so sketchy...

If... Jack hated not having all his memos. If Ba'al's time frame was correct...if there was a weapon in Antarctica...Too many 'if's'. 

Daniel gazed at the remaining crystals in the open replacement panel and pointed at a purple one. 

“Are you sure?” Carter reached in, pulled the crystal and held it out to Daniel, who took it and pushed it into the open engine panel between two white crystals. Suddenly she smiled. “Daniel... this might actually work.”

“What?” Jack and Jackson asked as one.

“Well, it could also mean they'll overcharge and we'll blow up. But the Zat is an energy weapon and the purple crystal would work as a conductor in combination with the white crystals. If fired at the crystals the Zat might give them a boost.” 

“Daniel,” Jack tapped the mini-version on the shoulder to get his attention. “You know what you're doing, right? Because blowing up and overcharging doesn't sound so good in my book.” 

LD nodded and smiled at Carter. With a suppressed sigh, Jack handed her his Zat since she only had her P90 and handgun. She took a step back and fired at the crystals. There was an electric flash, a blue energy burst and the humming of the engines increased immediately. 

“Wow,” Carter muttered. “That's...” She hurried to a console and studied a screen. “We're going almost double speed and the hyper drive remains stable. If this works out we're going to have a huge head start of Anubis.” 

“How long?”

She touched a screen. “We'll reach Earth in fourteen hours, twenty minutes. That should give us enough time to find the weapon and figure out how it works.”

“Peachy. Time for a break. Let's grab something to eat and get some rest.” 

Daniel tugged at Jack's arm. “Addo gradum.”

“Gained speed,” Jackson translated. 

Jack placed a gentle hand on his boy's head. “You did good.” 

Carter cast a worried glance at the panel. “Sir, I'd like to stay here and keep an eye on the crystals.”

“Didn't you just say it worked and we shouldn't have any problems?”

“Yes, I did, but I'd still feel better staying here. I'm fine, sir. I can get myself a sandwich and eat here. I slept in the brig.”

Jack knew she was trying to give them some privacy. Mora'i had made it very clear what Ba'al intended to do with Jackson when he'd come to get them out of the brig. And then, of course, there was that impressive hickey Jack's jacket collar couldn't cover all the way. 

Jack knew he had to deal with this. He just didn't know if they were ready for it. 

“I'll get something to eat. Take LD back to the cargo room. He needs to finish his... whatever it is,” Jackson said and left without waiting for an answer.

Jack suppressed another sigh. “Keep me posted, Carter.”

“I will, sir.” She gave him a sad little smile and he gave her a grimace in return before he left her to her crystals and took Daniel back to their cozy little cargo bay. 

“What do you think about a turkey sandwich?” he asked when they entered. 

The kid frowned. “Machinus. Nullus tempus. Festina.”

“Sandwich first, then machinus.”

A head shake was all he got. Jack threw up his hands. “Even when you go Ancient you're arguing with me. Fine. Get to work. But when Jackson's back you’re going to eat.”

He ignored the stubborn little pout for now and watched Daniel examine his handy work. 

It didn't make much sense to him. Lots of wires stuck to the naquadah generator and other doodads. It looked a bit like a four-wire circuit with too many gadgets. Rubbing a hand across his tired face Jack winced when he touched his bruised jaw where one of the Jaffa had hit him. 

Daniel double checked the wires and soldered joints. Then he switched the generator on and off and checked the wires again. 

Jack sat on a crate and stared at the tray Jackson had brought in here a lifetime ago. They had eaten just before they'd reached Taonas. But he was pretty sure Jackson hadn't had a bite to eat since they had had lunch at Jack's place. 

He'd probably been running on adrenaline for hours. 

Teal'c radioed in to report that most of the Jaffa they had talked to were inclined to join the rebellion.

“How's Boccie doing?” Jack asked.

“He is not happy,” Teal'c replied with a note of satisfaction. “He demands clothes and food.”

“Let's wait until he's asking nicely. When he does, ask him about the bracelets again.” 

“Indeed.” 

Jackson returned ten minutes and thirty seconds later – Jack didn't have anything to do but check the time when he wasn't watching the kid - with three MRE pouches in his hands and three small bottles of water under his arms. “Turkey and BLT. Sam got tuna. And here's some sparkling water. I think he got that from the commissary stock.” 

“Fargus,” Daniel exclaimed. “Fargus!”

“Finished. Jack, I think he's done.”

“Oh-kay.” Jack still couldn't figure out what it was. “Now, what?”

He shrugged and smiled. “Fargus.”

“Yeah, good work, kiddo. What does it do?” 

“Fundo glacious.”

“It melts the glacier. I think this will help us to get through the ice in Antarctica,” Jackson provided. 

Jack eyed the jumble of stuff and tangles of wires on the floor. “Cool. Now, chose a sandwich.”

In all the mess they'd gotten into since Ba'al had kidnapped them, it was a small miracle when Little Daniel snatched one of the sandwiches and a bottle of water from Jackson, and sat down to eat without making a fuss. That was different. And good. Jack had noticed something else, too. Daniel seemed calm now, relaxed. The agitated signs of anxiety he'd shown before were gone. 

Maybe the kid knew they were going to make it. Jack wished he could be that confident. 

Jackson picked a turkey sandwich for himself and joined the little one. “This is great,” he mumbled between bites. “The lettuce tastes almost fresh even though it was vacuum packed. And the tomatoes are good, too.” 

He made it through half of his sandwich, then lowered it and just sat there. 

Jack watched him, his own turkey sandwich untouched. 

“I think I'm not very hungry after all,” Jackson murmured. “Strange. I thought I was.” 

“Drink something.” Jack handed him an open water bottle. 

Jackson took it and sipped. “Fourteen hours,” he said out of the blue. “We should have brought a chess board or something. We'll be bored to death.”

Daniel had finished his sandwich and drank half of his water. He looked from Jack to Jackson. “Dormata,” 

“Sleep,” Jackson translated absently. 

“Yeah, that's a good idea. C'mere.” Jack reached out for Daniel who snuggled against his side and closed his eyes. 

They sat in silence. Jackson stared at the sandwich in his hand. When one of the tomatoes started to slip from between the bread slices he pulled it out with two fingers, looked at it in disgust and stuffed everything back into its bag. 

“Drink your water,” Jack said, trying not to make it sound like an order.

Jackson took another sip and lowered the bottle. “You need to know what happened,” he said calmly. 

“Right now all I need to know is if you can hold it together until we’ve made it back and kicked Anubis's ass.” 

Jackson snorted. “What? And then I can have my meltdown? I'm new to the got-almost-screwed-by-Goa'uld thing. Hey, it's something I can add to my whump list now. What's the SOP for this anyway? I write a living color report? You have to report it?”

Jack looked down at LD to make sure he was sound asleep. “What's Fraiser going to find at your post mission physical?” 

“Nothing. I told you he didn't get to do the deed.” 

“Fingers and tongue,” Jack said dryly. 

“Yeah, pretty much sums it up. Two fingers. So no tearing, no blood, no sperm. You could say I got lucky.” 

There was that upbeat voice again. Somehow it was worse than the sarcasm. 

Jack didn't want to hear any of that, but knew he had no choice. He needed to know. He didn't have the impression Jackson was having trouble walking or sitting down, but being in shock could lower ones pain level a couple of notches. Too many fingers applied too fast could do a lot of damage. And Jack wasn’t kidding himself. His stubborn friend might play it down and bend the truth just to avoid being forced to deal with it.

God, damn...

“Actually, I lied before,” Jackson continued, a false grin plastered to his face. “Hathor had a go at me, too, remember? She even made _babies_ with me. Only I really didn't think it was so bad at the time because of the nishta. And, of course, she was a woman. So it's still...”

“That guy, Mora'i, told us you were trying to get Ba'al wound up enough to take his body shield off him,” Jack cut him off.

Jackson blinked and licked his lips. “That was the plan, yes. Worked like a charm.”

“And what if it hadn't worked like a charm?” Jack gently lowered the kid's head and shoulders to the ground where he curled up and turned his back on them. “Let's dwell on that for a minute... what if you hadn’t gotten that body shield off him?” Jack rose and stalked away. 

He couldn't bear seeing that hickey on Jackson's throat one minute longer. 

He knew he should be supportive. Daniel had just sacrificed himself to save the day. Once again, friends and neighbors, Doctor Jackson put his life on the line for the greater good. Give him a medal and a purple heart.

Jack couldn't stop his mind from producing all these images of a broken, bloody, tied up... couldn't ward off the knowledge of how this could have ended. And there still was that other feeling, coiling in his stomach like a venomous snake ready to strike, making him feel sick. 

The red hot haze was back full force. 

“It doesn't really matter.” Jackson had followed him behind a row of stacked crates. “It worked. That’s what matters. I'll be fine.”

“It matters to me,” Jack snapped. “Tell me, Daniel, how far were you going to let him go?! How many times were you going to take it up the ass for your brilliant plan if you didn't get that shield off him soon enough?”

“As many times as necessary. Because otherwise we'd be on our way to Pegasus with some larva-spawning Goa'uld queen on board by now.”

Larva spawning... what? Mora'i had told them about Pegasus, but... “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Ba'al wanted to build this shiny new empire in the Pegasus galaxy, making you his new first prime, keeping me as his sex slave. He had it all fleshed out. Was going to pick up his queen on the way, to make baby Goa'uld for his new army! You were all locked up and Anubis is about to take over Earth. What did you expect me to do?! Giving myself to him willingly was the only way of getting close enough to take that shield off!”

At least he wasn't grinning like a maniac anymore. The haunted look was back, making Jack's guts twist and fueling his anger even more. 

“What I _expected_ you to do was try to use your keen wit and common sense to distract him and keep him at bay. What I expected you to do was wait for us to show up once you talked Mora'i into helping us,” he said, every word sharp as a razor blade. It was either that or yelling the house down. “What I _didn't_ expect you to do was let that scum bucket fuck you.”

“He didn't fuck me,” Jackson replied calmly.

“He had his damn fingers inside you.”

“Yes, thank you for reminding me. But he didn't fuck me. I had no idea Mora'i was going to help us. He left, telling me he wouldn't. And as long as Ba'al carried that shield you weren't going to be able to shoot him anyway.”

“Every god damn time,” Jack raved, not able to keep his voice down any longer. “You can't stop doing it, can you? Every damn time you have to go and throw yourself in the line of fire!”

“What? Like you wouldn't have done it!” 

Now Jackson was losing his cool, too. Maybe that was a good thing. 

“That's not the point!”

“Then what _is_ your point?! Ba'al was going to do it anyway, Jack. He wanted me from the moment he made me his Lo'taur, maybe from the moment he first saw me! I only took advantage of something I knew was going to happen right there and then!”

Jack was fuming. The worst was that he didn't have a point. Jackson was right. And there was not a single thing Jack could do about it. It had happened. Maybe it was bound to happen to one of them one day. That didn't make it easier.

Jackson threw up his hands and went on. “Look, Jack, we're on our way back to Earth, and if we get to save the world it was worth it. He had locked me in his quarters to spread my legs for him and there was no way OUT! I had a bottle of massage oil, a bottle of liquid nishta, and some statues to whack his head with once that shield was off! Look me in the eye and tell me what I should have done differently? Come on, what would you have done?! Tell me!”

Jack knew he'd have done the same if he had to. But it was always easier to do the dirty work than having to watch your teammates doing it. Your friends. The one you loved. 

_Ba’al had his damn fingers inside him... had claimed him..._

Jack had to get a grip. 

They'd been through so many ugly times and nasty missions together. Had seen a lot of shit hit the fan. It was just another crappy day at the office. 

Except it was so much worse than that this time.

He rubbed a weary hand over his burning eyes. 

”As your CO I say Fraiser should know there's been an assault. If we make it rape it goes to Hammond,” he said flatly. “I'll keep it off the record though. It's up to you.”

Jackson closed his eyes briefly. “I know that. I was... you know...trying to joke it off.”

“Not laughing here, tough boy,” Jack ground out. God, he hoped they hadn’t woken the kid. The last thing he needed was Little Daniel knowing what had happened to his big counterpart. 

But as he peered around the crates it looked as though LD hadn't stirred. All that Ancient stuff in his head had probably wiped him out.

“I guess I just had my meltdown.”

“Feeling any better?” Jack didn't. 

“No.” Jackson slid down to the floor and drew his legs up to his body. 

“That wasn't your meltdown,” Jack said. “It was just letting off some steam. It's called the acute stage.”

Jackson stared at him, eyes big as saucers. “What?”

“RTS. Will take a while to get you through that one.” 

“RTS.”

“Rape Trauma Syndrome.”

“I know what RTS is,” Jackson said bewildered, “what I don't know is...”

“Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.” 

“Iraq,” Jackson whispered, instantly distracted from his own misery to focus on Jack's, as only a Daniel could. “I'm sorry. You never... I had no idea...” 

“Fond memories. But this isn't about me. You did what you had to do. What any of us would have done.” Jack was tired. He wanted to curl up next to the kid and sleep.

“I had no choice.” It was said in the same stubborn voice as before, even though he wasn't yelling now. But underneath Jack could sense something else. Doubt. Guilt. Self-loathing. After a moment Jackson added sharply, “He didn't rape me. I was in control and I stopped him. There's a difference. I broke his nose and whacked his dick.”

Jack snorted against his will. “Yeah, I saw that bruise. Nice one.”

“Too bad you had to kill him and put him in the sarc. I hoped he wouldn't get it up for a while even with the symbiote there to heal him. Anyway... he was down and I have that body shield.” He held up his hand to prove it. He was wearing bracelets on both wrists now. 

The wristband of the body shield looked similar to the other bracelets. There were scarabs on it, too. Jack thought one of them on each bracelet seemed to emit a faint glow. But maybe his eyes were tricking him.

“You want to talk about it? Start at the beginning?” Jack had a pretty good picture from the pieces Action Jackson had just given him, but they had to see this through and fourteen hours of – hopefully – uneventful traveling was all the time they had to get him back on track. Jack needed him alert and focused once they reached Earth. Needed him to get the worst of it out of his system, at least for a while. 

Jackson shrugged. “Sure, why not.”

“Just give me the facts. What was he up to at Pegasus? And how did you manage to bruise Ba'al's balls like that?” 

“Okay. It can't get any worse. It's over and I made it through alive.”

Jack knew better. It _would_ get worse before it got better. And when that happened he'd be there, providing Anubis wasn't going to blast them all to hell. But he also knew his big Daniel was a hard nut to crack. He'd bounce back from this, too. 

At least there was some comfort in that.

**III**

Several hours later the door to the cargo bay opened and Jack came awake with a start. He had fallen asleep, propped up against a couple of boxes. Blinking the grit of tiredness from his eyes he let out a low groan and gave Teal'c a bleary look. “We there yet?”

“Five hours until we reach Earth,” Teal'c said. 

“How's the Almighty doing?” 

“He is complaining about the cold.”

“Still not asking nicely?”

“No.”

“Too bad.” Jack felt the need to get up and stretch his stiff joints and muscles. He tried to get to his feet without too much of a struggle and managed to keep his dignity intact He looked over to where the Daniels slept; the little one nestled securely against the big one. 

At one point after Jackson reported his nasty encounter with Ba'al – mainly focusing on what he knew about the Lost City and Ba'al's plotting and skirting around the more juicy details of the events - they had decided to get some sleep. Or rather Jack had ordered sleep. Jackson had complied surprisingly fast, probably wiped out emotionally as much as physically. He had curled up around the kid to keep them both comfy. 

Jack had considered joining them, but he was past the age where sleeping on the floor would go over without leaving him aching and grumpy the next day. And he was already achy and grumpy enough. So he had just watched them sleep until his own dark and haunted train of thought had finally crashed against some invisible wall in his mind and he'd dozed off. 

Teal'c placed a bundle he had been carrying with him on the floor. “Mora'i has kept DanielJackson's clothes. I also found Daniel's coat in one of the holding cells.”

“Thanks, T. It's cold in Antarctica.” 

“Indeed.” The big guy's eyes rested on the Daniels and for a moment Jack saw his face soften. When he looked back at Jack, that expression was gone. “You will interrogate Ba'al about the Kor mak soon.”

“We have to get these things off.”

“You will kill him again if he refuses to tell you?”

Jack scowled. “Well, it's not that I don't want to...” But the peak of his anger had, if not gone, cooled off enough to let him think beyond his blood thirst. For the moment. 

“Ba'al is a monster. You are not, O'Neill.”

“I wouldn't be so sure about that, T. Not after what he did.” 

Jack had done some pretty nasty stuff for God and country in his time. He'd been tempted to go on a revenge trip more than once, too. He knew that monster was in him somewhere, suppressed and under control, but he'd gotten a glimpse of it from time to time over the years. Today had been the first time he'd given in to it in cold blood. Because he could. Because he had seen Daniel standing there; naked, abused and with that agonized look in his eyes. Because he had known what had happened - if not the details – and it had been the straw that broke the camel's back. 

Ba'al had tortured his kid, had maybe damaged his mind forever. 

Then he had gone and raped his other Daniel. 

That Goa'uld had messed with the two people Jack loved the most. Had done it in a way that cut Jack open right to the core. 

He'd lost it.

And if the sarc hadn't been close enough or if he'd really blown off Ba'al's smug face...

“Ba'al must die,” Teal'c said gravely. “I, too, wish him to suffer greatly. That he could be brought back again and again to pay for what has done. Not only to the Daniels, but for all the countless lives he has taken. For all the blood on his hands.”

“But that's not how we're doing things around here,” Jack said with regret. 

“It has no honor.”

“Which makes all the difference between them and us. Yadda.” 

“Indeed.” 

It wasn't that Jack didn't know that. He just hadn’t given a damn about honor yesterday. He wasn't sure he was giving a damn about honor now. But he could do civilized again, today. Maybe. 

“I'll check on Carter,” he said. 

“I will stay here until you return, O'Neill.” 

Carter was bleary eyed and generally looked like crap. Once she said the crystals were going to hold, he ordered her to go to sleep ASAP and didn't take no for an answer. Just like Jackson he needed her in good shape once they reached Earth. 

The bunks in the quarters Ba'al had assigned them weren't much different from the floor, so Jack didn't object when she just dropped her tac vest, wrapped herself in her jacket and went to sleep in a corner of the engine room. She asked him to wake her in an hour.

He said, “Yeah, sure,” and vowed not to wake her unless these crystals were starting to burn out. 

She frowned at him. “You're not going to wake me, sir.”

“Nope.”

“But if there's a change in the readings on the screen...”

“ _Then_ I'm gonna wake you.”

She gave him an exhausted smile and tried to get comfortable. “Good Night, sir.”

Jack checked the auto pilot over the screen to make sure they were still heading in the right direction. Of course there was no need. He bet Carter had checked every five minutes – if only to prevent herself from falling asleep. 

“Sir? How is Daniel? The big one?”

He kept his eyes fixed on the screen. “He'll live.”

She didn't say anything else, but he could feel her eyes burning a hole into his back. After a moment he gave up on pretending there was something interesting on that screen. Turning around, he saw his own weariness mirrored in her pale face. 

“Teal'c said you killed Ba'al and brought him back.” There was no resentment, no underlying 'we're good soldiers we don't do that kind of thing' undertone. 

“Yeah. Had no choice about bringing him back.”

“Too bad.” She bit her lip just like the Daniel's used to do. “Sir, did he... did Daniel tell you...”

“Yeah.” And while he was at it, he could as well ask. He didn't think Teal'c was going to have a problem with this either. “I'd like to keep it off the record if that's okay with you. I know I can't make that decision alone, but he'd rather not write a report about it.”

She nodded. “So there was no... they won't have to do a rape kit?”

“No. I want him to tell Fraiser, but it doesn't have to go any further than that.”

“I guess he should talk to someone. If we make it through this alive. Then again, he probably won't and I can't blame him.” She pulled her jacket more tightly around herself and stared at the ceiling. 

“Yeah.” Jack had done the whole talking to a shrink crap because they had made him once they'd found the evidence of his... prison encounters... in the form of several tearings. Most of it had healed by the time he'd made it to a base camp, but they'd found enough evidence during his physical to take a good guess. He didn't know if talking about it had made a difference or not. Most of all it had made him angry. He guessed time had been the best cure for him, as it was for most of the really tough shit he'd waded through. 

“As long as he knows he won't be alone,” she said, pulling him out of his thoughts, “he'll get through this. He's one of the strongest men I've ever met. Ba'al won't break him.” 

“No, he won't.” Not if Jack had any say in this. “Go to sleep, Carter. That's an order.”

But her eyes had already closed and she was out like a light. 

He spent some time just sitting there, making up his mind about a couple of things. Trying to get past his suppressed, but still present, rage before he could go and talk to the snake. It wasn't easy, but he'd dealt with enough assholes – aliens and otherwise – to know he'd have to play it cool. Ba'al was going to sense his anger, would smell it like the rat he was and use it for his nasty little mind games. Even if it meant Ba'al was going to be on the receiving end of Jack's outburst, he'd still gloat about the fact that Jack lost it.

Jack clicked his radio and told Teal'c to meet him by the holding cells. With one last look at the crystals, to make sure everything was working smoothly, he left. 

Ba'al was pacing his cell like a caged tiger. When Jack and Teal'c stepped through the door, he spun around and growled deep in his throat. His whole body tensed as though he wanted to pounce on them. 

“Easy, fella,” Jack said. “You don't want to get your dick smacked again, do ya?”

The bruising was gone, thanks to the sarc, but Ba'al's eyes narrowed. Composing himself, he retreated a couple of steps. 

“That's better,” Jack said. 

Teal'c readied his staff and took post by the door. 

“What do you want?” Ba'al snarled. 

“How do we open the bracelets?” 

“You won't.” His eyes flashed and the corners of his mouth quirked smugly. “Unless you give me clothes and food I do not see a reason to tell you.”

“You freezing your snakey balls off?” 

“I am able to regulate my host’s body temperature.”

“Then why bother with clothes?” 

Ba'al grimaced. “I heard the Tau'ri treat their prisoners well. Maybe I was misinformed.”

“Yeah, well, we're a long way from home,” Jack said with a shrug. “I don't give a damn if you're comfortable.”

Ba'al crossed his muscular arms over his chest and cocked his head. “As long as you do not offer me anything in return, I assume you will kill me as soon as I give you what you want. I do not see any advantages for me.”

“I could give you my word not to kill you,” Jack offered.

“You could. But you will not. Because I... how did you call it? I messed with your precious Doctor Jackson. And I left your child with a scrambled brain.” Ba'al gave him a predatory grin. “Doctor Jackson was a very promising Lo'taur. He would have given me much pleasure for many years.”

Jack's fingers crept to his weapon. “You're right,” he said. “I won't. You're dead.”

“Ah, but first you have to figure out how to open the bracelets. Good luck.” 

He let his hands fall to his sides. “I have a better idea. You tell us how to open the bracelets or we'll beam you over to Anubis as soon as he arrives. I bet he’d love to see you like this and gloat a little.”

“And he will kill me before you will kill him and you will still not know how to open the bracelets,” Ba'al said. 

“Maybe I'm gonna take my chances since you won't tell us squat anyway,” Jack sneered. God knew he was mad enough to do it even though he wouldn't. 

“Make me a prisoner of war,” Ba'al said, changing tactics. “I might be useful to you. I know Anubis, know how his mind works and how big his fleet is. I can tell you everything you want to know. How many ships, how many Kul warriors.”

Jack exchanged a look with Teal'c. “I'm listening.”

“Clothes.”

“Give me something we can work with, and I'll give you clothes.” 

Ba'al sneered at him, but said, “He will send three Ha'taks first as an advance party to fool you into believing that is all he has. He wants to know if you really have Ancient defense weapons; if the prophecy is really true. If you attack him with your one Asgard ship right then, he will assume that is all you have. Then he will send his full armada.”

“How many?” 

“Thirty five, thirty six. Ha'taks, gliders, Al'kesh's. He will start by taking out power grids and any means of communications. You will be deaf and blind. He has a chaapa'ai on one of his ships and will dial your Stargate to send bombs through. That is just the beginning.”

Jack hadn't expected anything less. Yet, having it spelled out like this didn't exactly boost his confidence. “What do you know about that Ancient weapon? You used the mind probe on my kid. What did you get?” 

“If what the boy showed me is true you will defeat Anubis. If, however, the outpost is damaged...” Ba'al shrugged.

“What kind of weapon are we talking about?”

Ba'al smirked. “Clothes? I also need to be shaved. Why don't you send me my Lo'taur to dress and shave me. He can serve me a meal, too.”

“And give you a nice blow job while he's at it?” Jack asked in a very low voice. “I don't think so.”

Ba'al's cock twitched with interest. “He enjoyed what I did to him, O'Neill. I think he felt lonely since you refused to take him into your bed.”

Jack froze, struggling for keeping his face passive. What the hell had Jackson told the fucking snake? Then he remembered the mind probe... could Ba’al have seen all this in the kid’s head. 

“Oh, yes, he told me. You turned him down. He craved every touch, every kiss. He responded most eagerly,” Ba’al continued.

Jack moved before he knew he was doing it. Ba'al was slammed against the wall of his cell, Jack's combat knife at his throat. 

“O'Neill!” Teal'c's voice cut through the fog of rage like the crack of a whip. 

Jack took a deep breath. One. Two. So much for keeping his cool. He was trained to do better than this, dammit. He stepped back, pocketed his knife, turned to Teal'c. “Make sure he gets something to wear.”

Ba'al brushed a hand over his throat. “Weakness,” he said with disdain. “Getting too close to your underlings is making you weak, O'Neill. Feelings only get in the way.”

Jack couldn't help but snort. “What do _you_ know about feelings?”

Ba'al's eyes flashed, but he didn't reply. 

***

Daniel thought he had had enough sandwiches for a lifetime when they finished their breakfast consisting of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Pre-packed of course. Tasted like paper and sawdust with something sticky and sweet on it.

LD nibbled on his own sandwich, looking not much happier than Daniel felt with his food. 

“It's better than nothing,” Sam said with a grimace. She had joined them half an hour or so ago, hair disheveled from sleep. 

“Crap,” LD muttered and they stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing. It was the first English word he had said in a while and the way his lower lip jutted out in a disgusted pout was kind of cute.

Besides, what else was there to laugh about?

“Yeah, but it's edible crap, so force it down,” Jack ordered with a put upon grin that didn't reach his tired eyes. 

LD considered, sighed, and nibbled some more on it.

Jack had been brooding, withdrawn, ever since he had returned from interrogating Ba’al. Daniel wondered briefly what had been said that had Jack so riled up. He could sense there was something simmering under the surface. 

_Ba’al must have been gloating about what he did to me_ , Daniel thought, feeling a hard hot knot in his stomach. _No, about what I did to him. Oh, god._

He tried to make eye contact, but Jack kept glowering at his own sandwich.

“So, what kind of drone weapon is it exactly, sir?” Sam picked up the conversation. 

“He said it's some kind of hybrid between energy and a projectile weapon. He also said it looks like a squid. Don't ask... I have no idea. That's all he got. Apparently it goes through any kind of shield and armor and blows up whole ships,” Jack said and gave LD a questioning look. “What do you say?”

LD tilted his head and thought about it for a moment. “Verimas.”

“True,” Daniel provided.

Jack had told them everything Ba'al had been willing to share in exchange for a set of clothes and a turkey sandwich. No Goa'uld cuisine for prisoners. Apparently Mora'i had insisted on watching Ba'al dressing himself. It had taken yet another layer of disbelief from him when his dis'tra had – whining and complaining included – undertaken that task himself and then gobbled down the frowned upon sandwich without much dignity. Daniel thought the longer Ba'al stayed in his cell without being able to free himself, the less fear Mora'i felt. Soon the formerly loyal Jaffa might reach the state of anger and shock when he fully realized he had been deceived, abused, and lied to, all his life while he had thought he was serving a god. The old Jaffa was kel'no'reeming in his quarters now. Jack seemed wary still about letting him be on his own, but they had little choice in the matter. They couldn't afford to guard Mora'i all the time and they didn't really have a reason to lock him up with the others since he had helped them. 

Teal'c, who seemed to be the only one of them not minding the sandwiches, finished his fourth BLT and washed it down with a bottle of water. “Ba'al will not lie in this matter. He has no interest in letting Anubis win this battle.”

“Yeah, but he has nothing to lose or to gain here. He could tell us bogus just for the fun of it,” Sam said. “He knows if he gets lucky he'll be imprisoned for the rest of his life. I feel much better knowing Daniel can confirm what he said.” 

“As long as he is alive he will try to free himself and re-gain his power. Seeing Anubis defeated will serve his plans now that he cannot go to Pegasus. He will not surrender truly. He will sit and bide his time like a spider in a web. We must not underestimate him,” Teal'c said darkly. 

“So what do we do? If he won't tell us about the bracelets we can't kill him either,” Daniel said.

“We'll take him with us,” Jack said.

“With us?” Sam echoed.

“I'm not going to leave him up here where Anubis might grill him alive. And I won't send him down to the SGC either. Not taking my eyes off him for a minute until he’s spilled about those bracelets.”

Daniel tried to ignore the chill of dread running down his spine. He hadn't seen Ba'al since he took the body shield from him. “And then... what? Let's say we go down there, defeat Anubis and all ends well. What are we going to do with him? We just drag him around everywhere we go until he lets us know? And if he won't let us know because he's well aware his life depends on the bracelets?”

“Well, actually, once Anubis is gone and we're back to normal I'm sure we'll find a way to open and remove them safely. I'll contact my dad, maybe he knows about them. I'm pretty sure between Janet, Doctor Lee and us, we'll find a way,” Sam said.

“And what if you don't?” Jack asked. Holding up his hands he added, “Don't get me wrong, Carter. I have every confidence in you guys, but if we leave Ba'al here and he goes boom...”

“Is anyone listening to me?” Daniel snapped. “What are we going to do with him once this is over and he still hasn’t talked?”

“We'll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Jack said. “First we have to deal with Anubis.”

“What if he tries to escape down there?” Daniel cautioned.

“He will not,” Teal'c said gravely. 

“We'll restrain him. He twitches the wrong way he'll get zatted.” Jack gave him a weary look. “You okay with that?”

“Do I have a choice?” Daniel wasn't okay with having Ba'al breathing down his neck, but if that's how they were going to do it, so be it. It wasn't as though he could come up with a better solution anyway. He shrugged. “I'm fine.”

At least no one dared to tell him otherwise. 

And hey, he was fine. He had his own clothes back, even his boots, and he felt a lot better now that he was dressed properly again. In time, Ba'al and his hot long fingers and mouth would be nothing more than a nightmare. He'd probably never be able to stand the smell of sandalwood again and he might not want to have sex for a while, but he was walking, talking and breathing. 

He had been assaulted, yes. Abused, yes. But it could have been worse. A lot worse. He was fine. Not peachy, as Jack would say, but okay. Angry, yes. But okay. 

When he felt a small hand tugging at his arm, he plastered a smile to his face and turned to LD. “What's up, Daniel?”

“Indeeo asordo.”

“You need help?” 

“Help with what?” Jack asked.

LD explained and Daniel said, “Uh, he needs this thing he built on a ring platform before we get there.”

“And that came to him just now? How are we going to carry all this stuff to the rings without breaking it?” Jack groused.

“We'll use the Asgard transporter,” Sam suggested, already getting up from the floor. “We should get ready anyway, sir.”

Jack waved at her. “Go.” 

But before she reached the door, LD was at her side and took her hand. He led her deeper into the cargo bay and the two of them vanished behind the same crates and boxes Jack and Daniel had used as a buffer between them and the kid last night to have a little privacy for their talk. 

“I will prepare Ba'al.” Teal'c left at Jack's nod.

Daniel felt Jack's eyes on him as he zipped his jacket and made sure the Zat Jack had given him was properly attached to the strapped-on leg holster. The leg holster was Jack's, too. He had his P90 and his knife so he'd given Daniel the leg holster for the Zat. Going on a mission in civvies sucked, big time. 

Now Daniel looked up and met Jack's questioning eyes. “What?”

“You think that weapon's gonna work?” 

“I think it's going to work if it's still intact after all this time, yes.”

Jack scowled. “I'm getting a bit worried about the 'if' factor here.”

“You trust Daniel, don't you?”

“I do. But has it ever occurred to you that Daniel's knowledge might be millions of years old and Oma didn't check if their little super-weapon still works before she came up with her great plan to make him savior of the day?” 

Daniel nodded. Yes, it had occurred to him. “Only one way to find out.”

Jack sighed. “Yeah.” Then he curled his lips in and gave him an intent look. “Look, Daniel...” 

He shook his head. “You're the one telling us 'Never say die' all the time, remember? So if you have to say something meaningful, keep it for when we're back home.”

Jack rolled his eyes. “Actually, I was gonna say...” He bit his lower lip and shook his head. “Never mind.”

“Another bridge we’ll cross when we’re home?” Daniel asked quietly.

Their eyes locked and Jack gave him a slight nod. Nothing more. But it was reassuring and unsettling at the same time. Daniel remembered the mistletoe and what they had promised each other. 

He didn’t know if he still could...

“Sir! Daniel wants us to take these down with us.” Sam and LD returned from their cargo bay exploration with several huge bundles in their arms. When they dropped them to the floor Daniel stared at it, and then at Jack, in puzzlement.

“Thermal sleeping bags?” Jack raised his eyebrows at LD. 

LD started talking and Daniel translated. “He says we should take food, water and med kits down with us. As much as we can.”

Jack put his hands on LD's shoulders and looked down at him. “You have a plan B up your sleeve, just in case we get stuck down there?”

LD gazed up at Jack, but didn't say anything. 

“Maybe it's just a precaution. Provisions and med kits might be useful just in case Prometheus can't pick us up right after the fight,” Sam said.

“All right. Beam anything Daniel wants us to take down there into the ring room. We'll take the sleeping bags with us.” When Sam had left Jack clicked his radio. “Teal'c?” 

“I am ready, O'Neill.” 

“Meet us at the rings.” Jack picked up two of the sleeping bags. 

Daniel grabbed the other bags and together they walked down the empty corridors. 

They met Teal'c, Mora'i and their group of Jaffa at the door to the ring room. Ba'al was dressed in simple black robes. He was handcuffed and wore shackles around his ankles. 

Teal'c's staff was aimed at Ba'al's back. 

Daniel chose not to look at them for the time being, but he felt those black eyes linger on him. He pushed every memory trying to sneak up on him away. He could deal with that later if he had to. Not now. 

Ba'al's former first prime, a bulky giant of a man, stepped forward. “We wish to fight against Anubis.”

Jack looked at Teal'c, who bowed his head in agreement. “They request to stay on the Ha'tak to join the fight.”

“You sure they won't try to blow us up instead?” 

“They pledged their allegiance to us. They will not deceive us,” Teal'c said. 

“If the Goa'uld are no gods, Anubis can be defeated without Ba'al's help,” first prime said stiffly. “We will fight. We would rather die with honor, and free, than hide on your planet like mice.”

“You won't be prisoners though,” Daniel said. “If we win this battle you can join the free Jaffa.”

“We will join the free Jaffa should we survive,” Mora'i said quietly. “We have made our decision. We will not fight for Ba'al, but for our freedom. And yours.”

“Are you sure about this?” Daniel asked the old Jaffa. He wasn't a warrior, but he looked equally as grim as his companions. 

“Yes, Daniel Jackson. I still believe I am too old to be a hero, but now that the children of my family have a chance to grow up free, I want to be part of the fight for that freedom.”

Ba'al let out a low disdainful snort, but no one paid attention to him. 

“Good enough,” Jack said. 

First prime bowed his head, turned on his heels and led his warriors away to the bridge. 

Daniel followed Jack, LD and Teal'c into the ring room. The 'machinus' was already there. Two crates materialized next to the rings, bearing the US Air Force logo. Probably MRE. Another box appeared a moment later, then four med kits. 

LD went down on his knees and activated the naquadah generator. Several of the gadgets attached to the wires started to blink. He arranged everything on the ring circle, looked at it, nodded and walked to the door where the ring controls were.

“Now what?” Jack asked.

“Fargus. Noo exspecto.”

“Done,” Daniel translated. “We wait.” 

Jack checked his watch, then clicked his radio. “Carter, you done there?”

“Yes, sir. We'll reach communication range in fifteen minutes. He'mar just contacted me from the control room...”

“He, who?”

“Ba'al's first prime. Anubis is already here, sir. Either Ba'al was misinformed or he tried to set us up. We detect six Ha'taks in orbit around Earth and fifteen Al'kesh's. So far they're just sitting there. He'mar suggests forging an alliance with Anubis so they'll let us pass. I think it's our best option to buy enough time to assume our position over Antarctica.” 

Jack shot Teal'c a hard look. “If he's going to rat us out to Anubis...”

“He will not.”

“Anubis has the power now,” Ba'al said with a shrug. “He'mar is not stupid. He will do what is more beneficial for his people and himself.”

Daniel saw the indecisiveness on Jack's face and he didn't envy him for having to make that choice. Finally Jack clicked his radio again. “Tell him to go ahead. Put it on speaker so we can listen.” 

She confirmed and a moment later they could hear He'mar's voice booming over the speakers as he contacted one of Anubis's ships. Daniel and Teal'c exchanged a look as they listened to the ongoing conversation.

“He's asking to be allowed to serve Anubis because Ba'al has fallen in battle with the shol'va and SG-1, and they want to avenge his death,” Daniel translated. 

“They have been granted permission to join Anubis's fleet,” Teal'c provided a moment later.

“And He'mar will come to kill us all and destroy your Ancient outpost,” Ba'al said with a nasty grin.

“No.” Daniel shook his head. “He'mar said we'll assume position over Antarctica and wait for further instructions.”

He'mar's voice came over the speaker, “O'Neill, we are entering the atmosphere now. Once we are in position there won't be much time to proceed. Anubis will soon realize he has been deceived.” 

Jack stepped to the wall intercom. “I copy that. Are the shields gonna hold long enough to get us down there?”

“I believe so. We are now at the coordinates Major Carter has programmed into the ship's computer.” 

”Carter, Mora'i, get over here,” Jack ordered. “Thanks, He'mar. Good luck.”

“And to you, O'Neill.” 

LD gestured at the door. “Relinquere nunc.”

“Leave now,” Daniel said. “I think he wants us to wait in the corridor.”

“Yes, sir,” Jack quipped, giving the blond head a quick ruffle. 

LD's small fingers scurried over the controls and the rings activated. The ship's floor opened and they were all blinded by a white light as a beam shot out from the rings, hitting the surface. It was getting very cold and very windy in there. 

Jack grabbed LD by the arm and they all evacuated the ring room just as Sam was jogging down the corridor. “Did he get it to work? I know what he's doing. He's modified the matter stream transmitter on the rings, so that we're going to use it to drill a hole into the ice.”

“All done,” Jack said. 

Sam stared at LD in amazement. “He MacGyvered this in a way I'd never imagined possible! Of course once I really thought about it, I realized what he was doing, but this is so makeshift, it's kind of mind boggling that he figured it out just like that.”

“That's my kid,” Jack replied, but the pride in his voice didn't fool Daniel for a moment. 

_He thinks we're going to lose him_ , he thought and a cold hand clutched around his heart, squeezing painfully. No one but Jack knew better how the Ancient override destroyed the carriers mind. Was that the price they were going to pay for saving the world from Anubis? Would it be too late to contact the Asgard once all this was over? Would they even be able to help, or were the replicators already winning the war as Ba'al had predicted? 

Mora'i joined them, giving his former god a look of utter disdain. 

“Fargus,” LD said. 

And then everything happened very fast. 

Jack opened the door and hit the ring controls. Once the opening in the ship's floor had closed they started to remove the machinus from the rings and dragged their cargo into the circle. 

Sam sat on one of the crates. “Give me a couple of minutes to haul everything out of the way before you ring down.” 

“You got three,” Jack said and then she vanished with their gear. 

The moment she was gone, the ship started shaking violently.

“They know we are trying to deceive them. They attacked us, but the shields are still holding,” He'mar yelled over the speaker.

“Hurry,” Jack barked and just when they were all gathering inside the ring circle, LD sagged against Daniel, who caught him and picked him up. Teal'c pushed Ba'al to stand next to him, but Daniel was too busy holding onto the boy to be bothered by the closeness. 

Mora'I pushed the controls once more and then the rings engulfed them. 

The next thing Daniel noticed was the cold biting at his face and seeping through his winter jacket.

 

**IV**

The outpost lay still and silent; the footfalls of their boots were loud and echoing on the tiled ground. Sam had managed to pull their gear out of the rings in time and they had stacked everything in the back of the large underground dome. 

The shaft LD had melted into the ice was big enough to show them a patch of blue sky and give them a little daylight. Daniel still switched on his flashlight as he watched Jack and Sam approach the pedestal area, the lights of their raised P90 scurrying over a chair resembling the one on Taonas. 

“Clear,” Sam said, voice low. 

“This looks familiar,” Jack muttered, poking the chair with his gun. 

Above them the first noises of the battle started. Like fireworks on July 4th. Howling Goa'uld fire, explosions, whining of approaching gliders...

Daniel looked up from where he was sitting next to LD. They had wrapped the unconscious boy in two of the sleeping bags and put the other three on the ground underneath him, but it wouldn't keep the cold at bay for long. Daniel's searching fingertips felt a strong, but slow pulse. 

“He will not survive this,” Ba'al said in a conversational tone. “And when he dies you will lose your life, too. Your bracelet will lose its link to his once his heart stops.”

Daniel came to his feet and turned slowly around to face those burning eyes that had devoured him long before Ba'al had actually laid hands on him. 

Ba'al raised his eyebrows. “I liked you better without all these clothes, Daniel.”

Teal'c rammed his staff into the Goa'uld's kidneys and he let out a furious, painful shout, but managed to stay upright. 

“Tell us how to open them.” Daniel said sharply. “You lost. However this ends, you'll never be Ba'al the god, Ba'al the powerful, again. You could, just once in your life, do the right thing.” 

“If I had the desire to do the _right thing_ I probably would. But being the good and noble hero just does not appeal to me. And since there is no absolution for me, I have no desire to free my soul of sins either.”

“If the Daniels die, so will you,” Teal'c said. 

Daniel frowned. “No. That's too easy. You should rot away in some high security prison cell.”

“Prisons do not faze me,” Ba'al said with a shrug. 

“Ah, but, you know, it might get a little uncomfortable in that cell without a sarcophagus to sustain your host's life. He will age; become ugly and wrinkled. It'll become harder to keep him healthy and fit. It may take a while, but he'll get there. Then one day you might have to leave him and live in a tank of water,” Daniel went on. “And they'll send you to Area 51 to experiment on you. Stick needles into you, give you electrical shocks, that kind of stuff.”

Ba'al stared at him with mock superiority, but his eyes narrowed. He was probably trying to figure out if Daniel was bluffing. Daniel was sure Ba'al had no problem imagining a life like that. He was the master of cruelty after all. However, Ba'al seemed to be relying on the reputation of the Tau'ri for being an honorable, fair-play race. Little did he know about Earth politics and the greater good of military and science labs. 

“You're the bad guy. The enemy. No one will even spare a thought about ethics, human rights, or basic needs in your case,” Daniel said menacingly. 

“Tell us how to open the bracelets and we will give you a quick and painless death,” Teal'c offered.

“You are such fools, you do not even see what's right by your hands,” Ba'al said with a sour smirk.

A loud, booming voice made them all spin around.

“Surrender now and your lives will be spared!” Anubis stood in front of the Ancient chair; the black shiny surface where his face should be rippling. 

Jack raised his gun and poked at the Goa'uld's robes. The barrel of his P90 slipped right through it and with a low fizzle Anubis was gone.

“A hologram,” Teal'c said. 

“Fools!” the Goa'uld's voice echoed through the chamber, sounding like an embodied lost soul.

“Boo,” Jack muttered, then stood in front of the chair. “Daniel? What now?”

Daniel crouched by LD who hadn't stirred. He shook a small shoulder, but nothing happened. Turning back to Jack, he said, “I don't know. Plug in the crystals and sit in the chair. Think, uh, weapon? Drones? Kicking Goa'uld ass? But whatever you do, hurry!”

The noises of the battle had increased. Slivers of ice dropped from the ceiling and the whole cavern shook slightly as bombs or crashing gliders hit the surface. 

Jack looked back at him over his shoulder. “Stay with LD.” 

“Yes. Go! And remember not to shoot Ba'al's Ha'tak out of the sky.”

He watched as Sam handed the power source to Jack, who took it and walked to the far end of the pedestal where he knelt and pulled an apparently dead cluster of crystals out of the ground. He replaced it with the one from Taonas. 

Nothing happened.

But as soon as Jack sat in the chair, it lit up and swiveled back. Jack's long fingers pressed into the gelatinous hand pad and the whole area around the chair and the pedestal was bathed in a blinding white light. 

The rings rose from the ground and when they fell back down, three Kul warriors stepped out. Teal'c and Sam ran and fired at two of them. Daniel threw himself across the still body of his little self to cover him, his Zat sending blue beams at the third super soldier. He knew the Zat wasn't going to kill them, but it worked as a means of distraction.

Ba'al started to scream, his face a distorted mask of agony. His body got caught in an energy beam that had appeared out of nowhere and was now wrapping around the Goa'uld like a net of light.

The Kul warrior turned away from Sam and Teal'c just as the floor between Jack and the rest of SG-1 melted away, leaving a huge rift in the ground that sucked in two of the super soldiers immediately. 

Lowering his Zat, Daniel wrapped one arm around LD and pulled him further away from the spectacle going on in front of them. 

He had never seen anything like it before.

And he'd seen a lot in his years on SG-1.

A yellow light poured out of the opening in the ground. Except it wasn't a light but a swarm of glowing... things. They emerged from the darkness like hundreds and hundreds of glowing jellyfish swarming out. Some of them attacked the remaining super soldier, but the main stream rose through the shaft in the ceiling. More and more followed; a stream of half transparent glowing drones shooting upwards and out of sight. 

A row of huge explosions shook the dome and more ice rained down on Daniel, but he barely registered it. 

The jellyfish were gone.

At the same time he realized Ba'al's screams had stopped.

More explosions, from a greater distance. 

Then a thunderous stillness settled over the dome. Jack rose from the chair and walked past Sam, who stood rooted to the spot, eyes fixed on the hole in the ground. 

“Okay...that was...impressive. What the hell did you do?” Daniel blurted into the unnaturally loud silence as he came to his feet and brushed shards of ice from his shoulders and out of his hair. 

“Kicked ass,” Jack said tersely. “At least I hope we did.”

“Wow,” Sam murmured. Then her eyes fell on Ba'al. “Holy Hannah. What happened to him?”

Daniel and Teal'c rushed over to where the Goa'uld was still suspended in the energy field. 

Jack stopped next to them, P90 raised. “Is he dead?” 

“I don't know,” Daniel said. “You tell me, Jack.”

Ba'al's eyes were wide open, but as long as he was trapped in the force field he was paralyzed. 

Jack shrugged. “I didn't do it.”

Teal'c looked at their nemesis, then at Jack, one eyebrow arched in curiosity.

“Are you sure?” Sam asked, doubt in her voice. “I mean, sir, you wanted to see him dead as much as the rest of us. Maybe your subconscious...”

“Carter, I brought him here so he wouldn't end up dead,” Jack snapped. “You'd think I leave him alive until he spilled about those bracelets.”

“Yes, sir, but only you could have activated this,” she said quietly.

“A Goa'uld trap,” Teal'c suggested. “Automatically activated when the chair was used.”

“Well, that doesn't make sense,” Sam said. “The gate we found not far from here preceded the Goa'uld. This outpost must be equally as old.”

“Perhaps the trap was added at a later time,” Teal'c assumed.

“But the Alterans left Earth long before the Goa'uld arrived,” Sam said. 

Daniel resisted the urge to reach out and touch the force field. “I don't know... it has a resemblance to the beam of Thor's Hammer. Maybe the Asgard came here after the Goa'uld arrived. To protect the Ancient outpost from falling into Goa'uld hands – or more precisely into Anubis' hands after he ascended and was able to work Ancient technology. They must have coupled the force field with the chair.” 

“That may be so,” Teal'c agreed.

“Whatever it is, it seems to be affective,” Sam said. “We should try to back engineer this if we can.” 

A sudden and particularly long row of explosions had them all looking at the ceiling for a moment, then at each other. 

“Those drones are cool,” Jack said with a shrug. 

Daniel followed Jack as he brushed past Teal'c and knelt down by LD. “There's no change. He hasn’t stirred once during the whole fireworks.”

Jack started petting his face. “C'mon, kiddo, time to wake up. We did it. We blew him out of the sky. You hear me? Daniel? It's over,” he crooned, his voice soft with a tenderness very few people knew he was capable of. “Time to go home. I bet the dog's missing you like crazy.”

Daniel took one of LD's hands. “The pulse is still steady, just very slow.” 

“We need to get him to the infirmary.” Sam said, turning away from Ba'al. “There's nothing we can do for him here. I'm going to try and contact... someone.” She walked away and Daniel heard her talking into her radio, but his main focus was on Jack and the boy. 

This wasn't like the zoning out phases LD had had on the ship. He'd been in a kind of catatonic state then. Not alert, but awake. Now it was as though he'd fallen into a deep sleep, or a coma. Like Sleeping Beauty. His eyes were closed and his breathing had slowed down. 

Jack placed his large calloused hand on LD's forehead and for a second Daniel was sure he saw a faint glow passing from it into LD's head. 

“C'mon,” Jack whispered. “Gimme those baby blues.”

And Little Daniel opened his eyes. 

“Yes. That's better. Now, talk to me.”

For a moment his eyes stayed unfocused, then they zeroed in on Jack's face and LD's lips twitched into a smile. “Dormata.” 

“Yeah, you went to sleep for a while. We're almost home.” Jack's thumb brushed bangs out of LD's face. 

LD blinked. “Totus est perfectus. Valere.” 

“All is done, farewell,” Daniel translated flatly.

“No.” Jack shook his head. “There has to be a way. You just have to find it. It's in your head.”

LD's eyes drooped closed. “Ego amare, tatae.” 

It was Teal'c's low voice that pulled Daniel out of his numbness after those last words. “DanielJackson.” 

He raised his head and it took all his strength to pry his eyes away from the kid and Jack. His clammy fingers felt for the pulse again. It was still there. Slow. Very slow. 

Teal'c was crouched next to Ba'al's body. The energy field had let him out of its clutches. “Ba'al wishes to talk to you.”

“Tell him I'm not available to serve him any longer.” 

“I believe it is the host, not the Goa'uld.”

Daniel blinked. “Of course. The... the force field killed the symbiote.” 

“It appears so.”

Somehow he forced himself to move and kneel next to Teal'c. Ba'al's dark eyes didn't flash, but that hardly meant anything. The Goa'uld were very good at hiding their presence if they had to. Yet, Daniel knew it was dead. If this was an Asgard Goa'uld trap, it had killed the symbiote and kept the host alive. 

“Can you forgive me for what I have done to you?” were the first words out of Ba'al's mouth. His voice was raspy and the string of muscles in his throat were working hard, as though it was difficult to speak. 

Daniel knew he should feel something. Relief that the symbiote was dead, compassion for the host, who had been a prisoner in his own body for over two thousand years. But all he felt was that numbness spreading out inside him. All he could think of was LD lying over there...

_Farewell._

It wasn't fair. It wasn't meant to be like this. They were supposed to go home after their work was done, pick up where they had left off, help LD to get big again, live a happy life or something like that.

Except life had never been fair and victories hardly came without a price to pay.

Daniel looked at Ba'al and couldn't even bring himself to feel sorry for his host. He was just burned out. 

“If you're the host and not the Goa'uld there's nothing to forgive,” he heard himself say, just because it was the right thing to say.

“We were one for so long.” Ba'al coughed dryly. “It is hard to tell who is who sometimes. But yes, he is gone. I cannot feel his presence any longer.”

“You do mourn his death?” Teal'c asked. 

Ba'al... or Ba'al's host... closed his eyes briefly. “He has possessed me for so long, I do not know who I am anymore. I grew up being Lo'taur to Ra and eventually received the gift of a symbiote to become an underlord. Ba'al... the Goa'uld Ba'al... he was a son of Ra.”

“The Canaanites believed that. So it's true?” Daniel asked.

“You wanted to know about this,” Ba'al said and coughed again. “But there is no time to tell you much. He wasn't a kind god. Has never shown mercy for those he ruled over. Has killed too many to count.” 

“I know,” Daniel said automatically. “I'm sorry you had to endure all of this for so long.” 

Ba'al's lips quirked into a grim smile. “Do not feel compassion for me, Daniel. I chose this fate. I was greedy. I was raised to receive the honor eventually. Ra's pet boy. I was young and a fool. I grew up to be arrogant and vain. Ra took a liking to me and when I was too old to give him pleasure, he had me trained to be a master and a warrior. I ruled over his Tau'ri slaves many years before I received the symbiote.”

“So faithful the Tau'ri were back then, so loyal,” Ba'al said with a touch of longing to his voice. “They worshiped Ba'al. Yet, he never had enough. They never satisfied his hunger for power and prosperity. He was deeply feared. And, oh, he liked to be feared so much.”

Daniel tried to comprehend what he'd heard and realized he couldn't. He had no idea if this host actually worshiped his own Goa'uld or if he had just learned to live with it in all those years they'd been chained to one another. He was very different from the host of Apophis, who had been horrified and confused. But Daniel had neither the time nor the desire to figure him out. Any curiosity he had had about Ba'al was gone. 

“We need to know how to open the bracelets,” he said urgently.

When Ba'al's tied hands shot up and closed vice like around his wrist, he froze and was hit by a wave of nausea. His free hand balled into a fist, ready to strike. But Ba'al's fingers were ice cold now and the shock of it brought him back to his senses.

It was the host. Weak and probably about to die. 

Yet, there was a surprising strength in his grip.

“Take the boy to Pegasus,” Ba'al whispered. “You can save him, but you need to hurry. I have seen it in his mind... the means to help him are in Atlantis.” 

He let go of Daniel's wrist and pressed his hands to his chest. His breath became hitched and shallow. 

“How...” Daniel slapped his hands down his jacket, feeling for a pen and a post-it pad. He found the pen in his inside pocket, but no post-its. With a shrug he opened the pen and hoped it worked in this cold. The cold. He was feeling the cold again, like a thin layer of frost on his face and hands. The numbness was gone. 

Here was a shred of hope.

He wrote the symbols Ba'al gave him on his jeans. The pen, a black fineline, didn't fail him even though it took several tries to draw the symbols so they appeared readable. However, when he stared at the glyphs he'd scribbled all over his thigh the silver lining faded away. 

“Eight symbols. We can't dial eight chevron addresses. We don't have that kind of power for our gate.” Then something else caught his eye. “Eight symbols have to include the point of origin, but it's not Earth. What planet is this?” He pointed at a particular symbol marking the point of origin in the address. 

“A world where the Ancients once lived. A colony. It was in the boy's mind as a possible way to reach Atlantis should the Tau'ri chaapa'ai be destroyed. I... Ba'al... wanted to use this chaapa'ai to go to the city once he had picked up Qetesh from another world.” 

Daniel nodded. If they had been too late they could have tried to escape with Ba'al's ship and reach Atlantis via another gate. However, If they had really won this war, the SGC would still be here and they'd reach Atlantis much faster if they returned home and just switched the wrong glyph with Earth's point of origin. 

Ba'al's host opened his mouth, but a coughing fit rattled him and, without thinking, Daniel reached out and steadied his shaking shoulders. 

“Use the power source on your Dial Home Device,” Ba'al rasped once the fit was over. 

“Okay. What about the bracelets?” 

“Right by your hands,” Ba'al murmured. 

“We need to know,” Daniel snapped. 

“He was mesmerized by his beauty,” Ba'al's host whispered. His eyes widened. “Jerome... Ba'al never loved truly. Only this once. Could not give in. Despised weakness. He knew all about hate, but he feared love so much.”

“The bracelets...”

“Forgive...” Ba'al took a shuddering choking breath, his eyes already clouding over. His head lolled to the left and he stared at Teal'c, unseeing. Teal'c reached out a hand to feel his pulse, then closed his eyes. 

“He's dead,” Daniel said stunned as he sat back on his heels.

“Indeed.”

*******

“Prometheus has been hit, but they're working on repairs and the transporter system should be operational again in sixty. They're right above us. Ba'al's Ha'tak is gone. We're not sure if it was Anubis or the drones...”

“Wasn't the drones,” Jack cut her off. He had figured out how to control them pretty fast and there'd been some kind of weird battleship map in his head as long as the drones kept shooting out of the ground. He'd been able to navigate them, either as a swam or one by one. He had seen where Anubis's ships were. He had no idea how that was possible and, at this point, didn't really care. It had worked out and that was it. 

“Okay, but anyway, the Ha'tak is gone. He'mar was able to contact Prometheus and they were all transported over there in time. Anubis is gone, too. His whole fleet has been blown to shreds. You did it. We won. We saved the...planet.” Carter stopped talking, but he heard the almost sob edging her last words. 

Jack brushed a thumb over his son's pale cheek. “Yeah.”

“Sir... we'll try to contact the Asgard again. He's still alive. Maybe...”

“Yeah. Maybe.” But Jack could feel Daniel slipping away from him with every passing moment. Too far gone. If the Ancient override didn’t kill him, the cold would. Even wrapped in those sleeping bags he felt too cool to the touch already. 

He was so small. So vulnerable. He couldn't even walk around to keep himself warm now. 

“Colonel, I think you should use the chair again,” Carter said soothingly. “Maybe there's more down here than that weapon. Maybe there's a way to heat this place and...I don't know...It's worth a try.”

“A gate would come in handy,” Jackson's voice wafted over to them and Jack raised his head to see him kneeling next to a prone figure on the ground. 

“Ba'al is dead,” Teal'c informed them. 

“Bracelets?” Jack asked sharply, his heart skipping a beat. 

“He didn't tell me,” Jackson ground out.

“He didn't _tell_ you? What were you yakking on about there?!” 

“There's a way to save Daniel,” Jackson said. However, he didn't sound very optimistic.

“How?”

“He gave me the gate address to Atlantis. He said we have to take Daniel there to save him. It's, ah, an eight chevron address though, so... we need a gate and we need the power source to crank up its power.”

“He's a lying rat bastard,” Jack spat. 

“Jack...” 

“Why would he even want to help us?”

“It was his host, not the symbiote, talking to me,” Jackson said.

“And you believe him? He fucking...” _raped you_. But Jack swallowed it and just shook his head. “I'm not buying it.” 

“It makes sense, Jack. Atlantis is the Lost City. It's the city of the Ancients. Where, if not there, would we find a way to help Daniel?” Jackson stood, wrapping his arms around himself. 

“I agree.” Teal'c had come to stand beside Jackson. “It is a possibility.”

“Fine!” Jack pulled the kid back into his arms and struggled to his feet, holding Danny close, his head nestled in the crook between Jack's neck and shoulder. He wasn't as small as he used to be, but still not very big for his nine years. “So gimme a gate; we'll plug in that crystal thingy and off we go. Problem? Oh, right, we don't have a gate. And by the time Prometheus can beam us up we'll all be Popsicles!”

He knew his team didn't deserve to be yelled at. They were all in this crap together, had all given everything to get the job done, and it wasn't their fault Daniel was going to die... and with him the other one. Or that Ba'al had bitten the dust without sharing how to open the frigging bracelets. 

He looked at Little Daniel, bundled up in those sleeping bags, then back at Jackson, Carter and Teal'c. 

“Sam's right,” Jackson said. “Try the chair again.”

They had nothing to lose here. 

Jack handed the boy to Teal'c. Even with the sleeping bags LD seemed to vanish in those massive arms. “Keep him warm.” He waved at them. “Cuddle up, kids. Group hug until I get the heat up and the coffee going.”

He settled back into the chair and his fingertips found the familiar jelly stuff. It lit up and swiveled back. 

_Okay,_ Jack thought, _Gimme something to work with. I need to find Atlantis. And a way to get there..._

Around him a projection, showing a floor plan of the Ancient outpost, took shape. He studied it for a moment, raised his eyebrows in surprise, and then pulled up a star map showing him gates... 

**V**

“Wow,” Carter murmured, “that's...pretty cool.” 

“W... will it w...work?” Jackson rubbed his arms and apparently tried not to let his teeth chatter too loudly. Funny thing, seeing as he and the kid were the only ones wearing thick winter jackets in the first place, while the rest of them had to make do with regular field BDUs. 

Once a desert rat, always a desert rat, Jack assumed as he tried to move his toes in his boots and found them a bit numb. The torn sleeve of his jacket didn't make things any more cozy either.

The outpost wasn't nearly as cold as the surface or they'd be all suffering from third degree frost bite by now, but it was cold enough to feel more than just a little chilly. 

And if there had been a heater around here, it was broken.

He took point, walking up the ramp of the small ship he'd discovered in a sealed compartment of the outpost. A cylindrical-shaped ship with angled front and rear. Not big, but racy. The roadster among space ships. 

“Seems like the Ancient liked to fly in style,” Jackson pointed out behind him.

It had two compartments. The cockpit and a cargo area with seats along the sides. Lights began to flare up as Jack stepped through to the cockpit. Four seats, a large front screen that doubled as a view screen. 

The real kicker was the built-in DHD smack in the middle of the front console. The glyphs on the triangle shaped knobs started glowing softly as soon as Jack came close to them. 

“It works with crystals and some kind of interface; engines that react to the Ancient gene or brain patterns,” Carter reported. She had removed a panel in the roof and studied the engines' matrix. 

Jack settled in the pilot chair and just looked at the buttons and sensor fields. He placed his hands on the console and let it come; that weird feeling of connecting to something huge. The energy pull had begun to flow much easier now... 

_Pegasus... Atlantis._

The front screen sprang to life, giving him the same star map he had looked at while sitting in the chair. Gates lit up, glyphs appeared, then moved to the right side of the display in chronological order. 

It worked. 

Biting his lip, he went on to other topics. _Weapons? Shields? Whoa..._

“This thing has drones,” Jack announced as the screen showed the image of one of those squid thingies. 

“And a... a cloaking device,” Jackson shivered next to him. He pointed at something that read like gibberish to Jack. Ancient glyphs. Yet, he knew exactly what it meant. 

Jack thought _Heat_. 

The change in temperature was immediate and Jackson stopped rubbing his upper arms. “That's good. Very good.”

 _Yeah, peachy,_ Jack thought. 

How the hell did the ship know what he wanted? Like the chairs it seemed to understand Jack's thoughts even though they were in English. Or was his mind translating them without him realizing it? Had his Ancient language skills somehow survived and moved to his subconscious when the Asgard had removed the repository back then? Why couldn't he really think, read, and talk Ancient now, but was able to understand the ship's displays? 

Jack decided he wasn't going to question it as long as it worked. He was still not particularly happy about alien technology being able to read his mind, but so far it had served them well. 

“The engines seem to be intact. At least the crystals look okay to me,” Sam said. “This looks like an interstellar hyper drive. It'll be fast enough to cross the solar system in a couple of hours, but I'm afraid it won't take us the three million light years to Pegasus.”

“Three million...” Jackson groaned. “That's not like around the corner.”

“Pegasus is a dwarf galaxy in the local group,” Carter said. 

Teal'c handed LD to Jackson. “I will collect our gear.”

Jack tried to make sense of the capabilities of their shiny new ship. “It's not going to get us to Pegasus,” he agreed with Carter's assessment. 

“Well, we can fly it out of here and board Prometheus. We'll take the power source back to the SGC and use it to dial Atlantis from there,” Carter suggested. 

“That's the plan,” Jack said. He pulled up more schematics and let out a low whistle. “This baby can fly through a gate.”

“A gate ship?” Jackson sounded skeptical.

“Gate hopper.”

“ _Gate hopper_?”

“Hopping through the gate. Gate hopper.” Jack shrugged. 

Teal'c entered the gate hopper and lowered provision boxes to the ground. The med kits were stacked on them and so was a crate containing plastic water bottles which were probably halfway frozen by now. 

Carter closed the roof panel with a bang. “It's ready to go as soon as you’ve figured out how to fly it, sir.”

Jack stood and stretched his stiff back muscles. His toes were still numb, but the ship was warming up nicely, and his face didn't feel like a frozen mask anymore. “I'll get the crystal-power-thingy and report to Prometheus.” 

On his way through the dome he shot an assessing look at the hole in the ceiling. The drones had widened the shaft and it was now big enough to let the ship pass. 

As he passed Ba'al's body, Jack paused and started down at it, torn between anger because the bastard had taken the answer on how to free the Daniels off the bracelets with him... 

_It was a damn Goa'uld trap_ , he reminded himself. Someone had booby trapped the place. 

...and a dark, unsettling, satisfaction.

_You got what's been coming to you, fucking creep. Have fun in hell._

Jack spun around, slapped his radio and called Prometheus. 

A welcomed familiar voice replied, “This is Prometheus. We'll be ready to transport you out of there in a couple of minutes, Colonel.” 

Jack crossed the large main chamber where the chair was in, knelt down by the pedestal and removed the power source one handed while answering his radio. “It's good to hear your voice, sir.”

It was a nice thought that Hammond had taken it upon himself to command the cavalry. 

“Jack, Major Carter already reported what happened. We watched it from up here. Let's just say I can't wait for this debriefing. You blasted them out of orbit. Not a single one of them got away.” Hammond sounded impressed and a little excited.

“Thank you, sir. I'd like to say it was nothing, but we got our asses kicked good on this one.” He didn't think he sounded bitter. He thought he didn't have the energy to sound anything but dog tired. 

There was a long pause. Then, “Daniel?” 

“Not good, sir.”

He heard Hammond take a deep breath. “Doctor Fraiser is on stand-by up here. She'll do everything possible to help him. In the meantime the President and the Joint Chiefs are celebrating Earth's new defense weapon. They'll send a team of scientists down to that outpost as soon as possible. Hang in there just a few minutes longer, Jack. We'll have you out of there in no time, Hammond out.” 

Jack gazed at the cylindrical shaped luster of crystals in his hand and, in a split second, he made his decision. 

When he returned to the gate hopper, Carter was crouched in front of Jackson who was sitting on one of the passenger seats with LD in his lap. She was holding Jackson's hands in hers, looking at his wrists. “That's really odd. Did they glow like that before?” 

“Yeah, I noticed it some time ago.”

“Little Daniel's bracelet doesn't glow. Only yours and the band of the body shield.”

“I turned the shield off when Teal'c put Ba'al in the sarc after...Jack shot him. I'm not sure it glowed then, though.”

“Maybe you just didn't notice. Only certain ornaments glow. Here, the scarab on the shield bracelet and the scarab on the other one.” She tapped the wrist with the body shield attached to it. “Hold your arm over LD's bracelet for a moment.”

Jackson did as he was told and as if a light switch was turned, one of the scarabs on LD's bracelet started to glow. 

Jack peered over her head. “You on to something there, Carter?”

“Maybe... it seems these bracelets are connected somehow with the body shield band.”

“Ba'al said something about the solution being right at our hands,” Jackson said slowly. He brought his wrists together so that the bracelets touched at the glowing scarabs. With a low 'plop' the... whatever T had called it... opened and fell down. Jackson quickly pressed his body shield wrist against LD's bracelet and it joined its twin on the floor. 

“Good job,” Jack said and dared to feel something close to opt imism. 

Which went down the drain when LD's body started convulsing and his breath became ragged and gasping. Within seconds his lips turned blue.

“Put them back on!” Jack bellowed, but Carter already slapped the bracelet back around the kid's wrist while Jackson picked up his own and fastened it. 

The kid gasped twice, then his head fell back against Jackson's shoulder.

“Pulse is steady,” Carter reported, her voice shaking slightly. “Sir, I think the bracelets' link between the Daniels keeps LD safe for the time being.”

“Are you saying we have to wear these things to keep his vitals stable because he's linked to me?” Jackson asked, sounding a little spooked.

“I have no idea how that's possible, but that's how it seems, yes. Maybe because you share the same DNA the bracelet works like a...a transmitter. I don't know if you'll start to feel the effects of LD's condition or if feeding him your life energy might affect you in any way long term. But right now you should keep the bracelets on and we should get on our way to Atlantis, ASAP,” she said. 

Jack placed the cluster of crystals on one of the extra seats. “There's a change of plan,” he announced, bracing himself for the storm. 

“In what way?” Teal'c asked.

“Sir?” Carter heaved herself onto a seat next to Jackson.

“I'm going to take this ship to another planet, plug the power source into its DHD and take it through the gate to Atlantis.”

“Why? We can do it from the SGC. I'm pretty sure we can find a way to attach the power source to our dialing computer. I just need some time to analyze it and figure out what it does, exactly,” Carter said, frowning.

“They won't give us the power source,” Jack said.

“What? Why?” Jackson's mouth gaped like a guppy’s.. 

“This place is Earth's new defense system against alien invasion. They're going to send a science team and they won't let me take its only energy source to a galaxy far far away. This may be a one way trip. We have no idea what's going on in Atlantis.”

“Sir, I'm sure General Hammond...”

“I'm not going to take any chances, Carter. By the time they yay or nay this trip Daniel might be dead. It won't be up to Hammond and you know it. The Joint Chiefs are wetting their pants over this outpost.”

“Then we will take this ship to Atlantis,” Teal'c said calmly.

 _Oh, yeah, here we go._ “Me and the Daniels will take this ship to Atlantis. You'll go home. Be the heroes, get the medals. Have some champagne for me.”

“Sir...”

“Carter, they won't let us go.”

“We'll go with you. There's no way we're staying behind,” she said fiercely. 

“They need you here. You're too important to get lost in some dwarf galaxy, Carter. And your people need you, T. Next to Bra'tac, you're the head honcho of the Jaffa rebellion.” 

Teal'c looked at him stony-faced, but didn't argue that point. He had his priorities straight whether he liked them or not. 

“Sir...” Carter shook her head vehemently. “You can't just expect us to...”

“Yes, I can. That's an order, Major, and it's not open for discussion.” He waited for her to get her act together, knowing she was mad as hell, but too well trained to fight this one out.

Because she knew he was right. 

After a moment of tense silence he continued more gently, trying to take the edge off his earlier words. “I need you here to tell them where we went. And to convince them not to throw me into jail when we get back.”

She blinked. Probably something in her eye. “That's easy. Just find more of these power sources and bring them back with you. They'll promote you to general just like that.” She snapped her fingers and grimaced. 

He tried a smile. “I'll keep that in mind.”

“You will return safely,” Teal'c growled. 

“We'll do our best,” Jackson said quietly. 

“I'll explain everything to Hammond. He won't be happy, but he'll understand,” Carter whispered. She reached out and placed a hand on LD's cheek. “He feels warmer.” 

Jack glanced at the power source. “I just slot them into the DHD, right? There's a... uh... slot somewhere? Piece of cake?” 

She brushed past them to the cockpit. Crouching down by the console she probed the cover panel with her fingertips. A slot opened, revealing several crystals not unlike the ones of the power source. Carter shone her flashlight into the slot and let out a huff of annoyance. 

“What?” Jack leaned over the pilot seat.

“Nothing. I wished it'd be complicated enough that you need us to come along,” she said. “But it's actually easy enough, even for you. Sir.”

“Carter? Do I hear brattiness? That's Daniel's job.” He waggled his eyebrows at her and got a lopsided smile.

“Sorry, sir. It's actually really easy. There's a space in here where the power source just fits. So you just push these crystals in. Without giving them a thorough look and analyzing their power I have no idea what we're dealing with here, but they speak for themselves. They can power up the whole Ancient outpost and apparently this is what you need to go to Atlantis.” 

Jack hated long speeches and emotional goodbyes. He wasn't a friend of big words and so he did his usual, “I should say something profound, but nothing comes to mind,” thing and watched as Carter, Teal'c and Jackson hugged, LD somewhere in the middle. He did the warrior thing with Teal'c and was blindsided by being grabbed and bear-hugged as well.

“We will convince the President of the importance of your mission, O'Neill.”

Jack had no doubt about that. 

Jackson gave Carter his pen and she scribbled Atlantis' gate address on the back of her hand just in case they found another way to dial out from the SGC. Jack told them to take care of the dog who was currently at the SGC, watched by whoever was able to dog sit in a situation like this. 

Then it was time to leave.

“You two be good. Don't do anything I wouldn't do,” he advised as he watched them leave through the back door of the gate hopper. “We'll call or write if we can, send SMS, e-mails, whatever.” 

They didn't look back and Jack was grateful.

He closed the door and helped Jackson work all those sleeping bags into a makeshift bed for the kid. Daniel didn't stir when they tucked him in; his body seemed boneless and pliant. 

They stored the MRE boxes and med kits away, both too beat and too tense to talk much. Finally they settled in the pilot seats and Jack pulled up the schematics again. 

The flight control started glowing and he felt a gentle tug as the ship left the ground. The gate hopper began moving smoothly, and almost silently, through the dome. Jack felt the low vibrations of the engine, his mind merging easily with the core of the ship. He admired its simple elegance, the way it reacted to every command as though he'd navigated it for years. There was a familiarity between them Jack had last felt with the B-1 Lancer he'd flown in Iraq. That baby had reacted to every single twitch of his fingers... _this_ baby reacted to every single twitch of his mind. 

_Cloak_

They ascended through the opening in the ground into blazing blue skies, leaving the Prometheus behind. 

The gate hopper gained height, bizarre formations of ice covered mountains sliding by underneath. 

“Where are we going?” Jackson finally broke the silence as the clouds embraced them.

“Toss a coin. We need a gate address, preferably a planet with no people who might try to shoot us outta the sky.”

Jackson stared at his jeans. “Ba'al gave me the point of origin of a planet that used to be a colony of the Ancients. He wanted to go from there.”

“Meaning it's deserted because of the lack of Ancients?”

“I guess.” He pointed at a symbol close to his knee. “That's it. Can you figure out where it is?”

“Looks like a bow tie. What do we call that?” 

“Canis Minor. Don't look for a gate address. The point of origin isn't in the planet's actual gate address. It's only used as the seventh symbol when dialing out to other planets so the other gates know where to connect.”

“I may be a little dense, Doctor Jackson, but even I got that after seven years of gate travel,” Jack said, irritated. 

“Maybe the ship will recognize the planet just by telling it the point of origin...”

“I said I get it.” His eyes flicked to the view screen and tried to picture the symbol in his head as he thought of the words and moments later he found what he was looking for and the course was set. 

Piece of cake.

“Three hours if we go at maximum speed,” Jack said.

For a while they sat in silence, watching the sky turn dark as the gate hopper exited the atmosphere. Once they were out of orbit Jack jumped into hyperspace and they were on their way.

Jackson pinched the bridge of his nose then rubbed his eyes. “I hope there's some Tylenol in our med kits.”

“Headache?” 

“Yeah. I should get rid of my contacts for a couple of hours.” He slipped a hand into his jacket and retrieved a small container. “I just don't have my glasses with me. I didn't expect to get highjacked into deep space by Lord Ba'al, sex god of the Milky Way.”

“Life is full of surprises.” And god knew Jack hated surprises. “You won't need to see for a while. Go, get some shut eye.” He wasn't in the mood for talking anyway. 

“What about you? Did you sleep when we did?”

“A little.” 

“I'm not really into sleeping right now,” Jackson said. “I guess at one point I'll just crash and fall into a coma when my body gives out. But I already did that back on Ba'al's ship so I'm good for now. Can't you put this thing on auto pilot and get some rest? You don't look so good.”

Jack snorted. “You don't look so hot yourself.” 

“I want a shower.”

“Beer,” Jack said longingly. Actually he could go for something stronger, but beer would do. “Pizza,” he added longingly.

Jackson placed the tiny container on the flight console, lowered his head and removed his contacts. Jack winced, eyes itching just from watching him putting his fingers in there. 

Blinking rapidly a couple of times Jackson let out a sigh of relief as he closed the container. “That's better. Let me know when we get there and I need to be able to see again.” 

He rose and went to rummage around in one of the med kits. Jack heard him rustling and muttering until he apparently found what he’d been looking for. Jack didn’t have to see Jackson to know he’d swallow the Tylenol dry – that he was taking one at all spoke volumes for how bad his headache must be.

“I’ll check on Daniel,” he told Jack. After a moment he reported, “No change. Pulse is still slow, but steady. He's sound asleep.” 

Jack looked at them over his shoulder. Jackson had opened the sleeping bags. It was cozy and warm in here now. Daniel hadn't moved since they laid him down. He was on his back, head lolled to the left, arms by his sides. Jackson opened the thick winter jacket and Jack had to smile at the red hoodie with the words 'Peaceful Explorer' embroidered on the front. They had spotted it at the mall last fall and Jack had coaxed LD into buying it. 

Suddenly he remembered something. “What did he say before he went to sleep?” 

Jackson frowned. “Huh?” 

“Back at the outpost, when he came around... he said something...” 

There was a long pause, then, “Ego amare?”

“Yeah, that.”

“I love you. He said... I love you. Tatae, I think, is the equivalent for the Latin word tata.” 

“Which means?”

“Daddy. He... he called you daddy.”

The pain took Jack's breath away, seemed to suffocate him slowly as his throat tightened and his vision blurred. He had to jerk his head away from the Daniels and look back at the screen and the distorted view of the stars it was giving him. 

_Faster,_ he thought desperately, _we have to go faster_. But the ship didn't agree with him. It was already on maximum speed and Jack didn't dare use the cluster of crystals just yet. 

_Daddy._

Daniel had never called him that, only in the snarky way he was so good at. Jack wasn't 'Daddy', he was always 'Jack' to Daniel. Anything else would be wrong on so many levels even now that they had morphed into something like father and son. Even now that they both _felt_ like father and son. 

Jack wondered where Little Daniel's mind was now. Was he really asleep or was he in there somewhere, trying to hold the pieces together, waiting for them to get him back? Was this comatose sleep a way of protecting his mind? Was he going to wake up and be himself or would his brain be damaged? Had he lost some of his memories again, like when Svartil had messed with his head?

_Daddy?_

Jack wasn't sure how he felt about this, but if losing some memories and calling him Daddy were all the changes they had to live with, he'd be grateful. As long as his kid came back to him with all his marbles intact he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Besides, It had been a long time since someone called him daddy.

**VI**

Jackson was quiet for so long that Jack thought he had gone to sleep after all, not able to fight it any longer. But apparently he'd been wrong about that. 

“I hope we find whatever it is that's supposed to help Daniel in Atlantis. But if he knows what, and where to look for it, he can't tell us. If it's really a city it could be huge for all we know.” 

“I was hoping there's a sign or something, to give us a clue,” Jack muttered. 

“What? Like; Little Daniel rescue station, please ask your GPS for directions?” 

“You have your phone with you? Maybe we can ask google maps,” Jack snarked back. 

“All I'm saying is that we don't have much to work with here.”

“I know that. What do you want me to do about it?” 

“Nothing. I'm just saying.”

“Well, don't just say. It's not helpful.” Jack felt the tension build between them by the second. He wasn't sure what was triggering it. Exhaustion, frustration, worrying about the kid... probably all of it. 

“Fine. Shutting up now,” Jackson sniped. 

“Thank you.” 

“You're welcome.”

Jack scrubbed a hand through his short hair. “Look, why don't you get some...”

“I don't need sleep. I told you, I'm fine. I'm just sick and tired of sitting around, doing nothing and having so much time to...” Jackson trailed off and when Jack turned to look at him, the blue eyes glaring back were bloodshot and weary.

Jack knew exactly what this was. He felt his own irritation slip away to nothingness and raked his overtired brain for something to say. Something that didn't sound patronizing or like a platitude. Something that wasn't going to make Jackson feel cornered or forced to talk... Hey, he could do sensitive and supportive, right?

“Too much time to think, eh?” That wasn't very sensitive, but nailed it on the head.

Jackson was sitting on the floor by LD's side, leaning against one of the passenger seats. Ignoring Jack's question, he rolled his eyes. “Are we there yet?”

“Two hours, twenty four minutes.”

“Great.” He tipped his head back and closed his eyes. 

Jack turned back to the screen.

After a moment of heavy silence, Jackson asked, “What happened in Iraq?” 

The question hit Jack totally out of the blue. “What?”

“What happened in Iraq, Jack?”

“You don't want to know.”

“Maybe I need to know,” he said quietly.

“No.”

“Jack...”

 _Oh, for..._ “Why?”

“I don't know. To get a better perspective on what happened with Ba'al.”

Jack shook his head. “Knowing what happened to me won't help you deal with what happened to you.”

When there was no answer he hoped that meant he could drop it and leave it at that. He had made his peace with Iraq, but that didn't mean he was going to talk about it. Or even think about it. Not even if Jackson thought it might help him in some weird twisted way. Not even though it was, aside from the sleeping kid, just the two of them here and Jack knew what Jackson was going through. Not even...

Aw, crap... 

“I'm sorry. I should've known you wouldn’t want to talk about it,” Jackson said with a sigh. “It's not that _I_ want to talk about it. I don't even really want to hear it. But I feel like I'm obsessing over what Ba'al did and that seems... pathetic. I mean, after all nothing really happened.”

Jack swallowed down a snort. Denial was a bliss they said. “Doesn't sound pathetic to me.”

“It was worth the results,” Jackson said calmly, but with a note of defiance. “That counts.” 

“You did what you had to do,” Jack confirmed, aware Jackson needed to hear that from him again. It was the truth, but that was beside the point. Despite his vehemently repeating that he'd made the right choice, that it had been the only choice there was, Jackson was going to second guess himself over and over, and if it helped him to hear he'd done the right thing from Jack, too, a hundred times – so be it. 

“Yesss, I did. So did you, I guess.”

Jack closed his eyes for a moment. He was so goddamn bad at this. Mostly because talking about it meant facing Iraq again and he'd thought he left that chapter of his life behind for good. At least he'd gone through it and buried it. But he had faced it before he pushed it away. He didn't want to go through that particular hell again. There had been enough personal hell for him on this trip already, thank you very much. 

He didn't need Iraq to raise its ugly head on top of everything else.

And yet, he had no choice. Because this was Daniel, who'd be on a collision course with himself soon if he didn't acknowledge and start dealing with what had happened. Jackson was a tough guy; in some ways he had more guts than Jack. But this was one thing were being tough wasn't good enough. 

Jack could hear Ba'al's mocking voice in his head. _Getting too close is making you weak. Feelings only get in the way._

And...

_You turned him down. He craved every touch, every kiss. He responded most eagerly._

_Screw you_ , Jack thought, and bared his soul to the only man he had ever loved and would always love, no matter what. 

“They knew no one was going to come for me. It was a Special Ops mission; if you get busted you're on your own. No bailing out. What kept me alive in that rat hole was a guard who had a thing for me. He also had a thing for knife play. He liked doing me and holding his knife to my throat. He got careless and greedy. Wanted me to return the favor; so one day he untied me. Bad mistake.” 

“You killed him.” It wasn't a question.

“Cut his throat.” There was no point in sharing how many more he had had to kill to get out of there. Or that he had lived on bugs and cactus juice for ten days as he'd tried to find his way to the nearest base camp. He'd made it. More dead than alive, but he'd made it. 

And he felt the urge to get up, go over there and punch Jackson's face for pulling that nasty little episode out of its hidey-hole. 

He kept his eyes focused on the screen, welcoming the cold darkness of space glaring back at him. 

“God, Jack, I'm...” 

“You wanted to know. Now you know,” Jack said, unable to keep the edge out of his voice. 

“Yeah, and it just proves I should stop over thinking this. Ba'al didn't rape me. He only got to warm up to the idea. I was in control. I had the opportunity, I took it, and he was down and bruised by the time I was through with him.” 

“No big deal then, right?” Jack continued to stare at the screen, his jaws clenched so tightly, it hurt. 

“It doesn't seem like such a big deal, no. You must have gone through a hell of a lot worse.” 

Jack slammed his hands on the flight controls and sent the ship into auto pilot with one silent, yet thunderous, order before he spun around to face Jackson. “This is NOT a competition, Daniel. Ba'al raped you, like it or not. And if you think you were in control, you're WRONG.”

“All he did... _we_ did... was a little groping, a little making out.” 

But Jack had had enough of that. Knowing Jackson's detachment and calmness was a natural reaction and coping mechanism didn't make it easier to listen to this. Didn't make it easier to look into those flat, stoney eyes while he was trying to talk it down, to rationalize it. 

God, the snake was lucky to already be dead because Jack felt like killing him a hundred times over. Which only added to his agony.

“Because you got lucky! You said it before... you grabbed an opportunity. He could have tied you up and screwed you several times over. He could have killed you. You weren't in control and the only reason you got out of there was because he was so horny he couldn't think straight!” 

“I know that. I used it to my advantages and it worked. End of story,” Jackson said lightly.

“Oh, yeah? So why are you,” Jack made air quotation signs, “ _obsessing_ about it then? Why not just shrug it off and move on since it's no big deal?!”

Jackson stared up at Jack, with those eyes that didn't seem to belong to him, his voice steady and cold. “That's what I'm trying to do. I don't know why it keeps re-running in my head. I'm okay. I should be fine. After all he's dead and we're not.” 

“Fine my ass. You're trying to make it some kind of... of... trifle. And that's not what it is.” Jack knew he was going at this the wrong way, probably pushing all the wrong buttons, but he couldn't bear this any longer. 

Couldn't stand the mere thought of what Ba'al had done to Daniel. 

Couldn’t stand the way it made Jack feel. What it was doing to _him_. 

“He hurt you, Daniel. He abused you and you're obsessing about it because you're trying to find a way to play it down.” 

Jackson squinted and his eyebrows took a V turn. “Denial is a bliss. You of all people should know; you're the master of denial.” He sounded defeated now, the facade crumbling.

Jack walked around Little Daniel, who was – hopefully - oblivious to anything going on around him, and settled down next to Big Daniel. “Look, I know 'hurt' is our middle name and denial is the way we cope. But this is different.” 

“How's it different? It's the same old same old crap we always go through.”

“It just is, okay?” 

The crinkled eyebrows evened out and traveled upwards. “Right. That's helpful. Not.”

Jack sighed, his anger deflating once more, but not leaving him. “When you get beaten up, ribboned or shot at you're in pain. You're angry. Sometimes, maybe, scared. When someone dies you grieve. You have nightmares, you hurt. Eventually the physical pain goes away, the rest fades somewhat and it gets easier to live with the nightmares. You move on. That's how it usually works, right?”

Jackson shrugged. 

“This, too, will pass. But only if you can let go of it. Just locking it away won't work. Because if you just lock it away you'll never be able to...” Jack made a vague gesture with his hand. “You're never going to _like_ having sex again. Not the way you used to, anyway.” 

When there was no reply, Jack asked, “You got hard when he used his fingers?” 

Daniel's whole body tensed up, and finally something close to anger flared up in his voice. “What? What the hell are you implying here? Are you nuts?!”

Jack waited. 

The minutes stretched and the tension was building again. Finally Jackson let out a huff and threw back his head, staring at the ceiling. “Yes. Yes, I did. It's not like I came or something, but... yes. Are you happy now?”

“That's the difference, right there,” Jack said. 

“I don't...”

“If he wasn't a total failure he would have tried to make you come eventually and there's not a fucking thing you could've done about it. Prostate, gland, reaction. He'd probably have done anything just to see you come. It's more humiliating that way. Gives him more power.” Jack stared at the opposite wall of their little gate hopper, wishing he'd never shared about Iraq. Wishing he didn't care so much. 

Jackson didn't say anything. He turned his head away from Jack and stared out the front screen. After what seemed to be hours, but were just long agonizing minutes, he murmured, “I want to throw up.”

Jack grimaced. “That's gross but, hey, whatever works.” 

“You know your idea of pep talk is very...strange,” Jackson muttered.

Jack sighed. “Yeah, I know.” He edged closer until their shoulders touched. Jackson tensed. Jack nudged him gently. “Got very bad grades in pep talk class.”

Jackson snorted and lowered his head to his drawn up knees. Sucking in a harsh breath, he started talking very fast. “I still can feel his... his fingers. I can still taste him in my mouth. I'm running around with a hickey the size of Colorado on my throat. And I was leading him on. I was offering myself to him like a... a whore. Like a slut. I didn't see any other way. I hated every moment of it and I had an erection. What's wrong with me?”

Jack hesitated, then put his hand on the top of Jackson's head, brushed it through his hair and down to the warm skin of his neck. He wanted to hug; he'd always been better with doing than talking and he wanted to connect and hold. He wanted to make this better so badly even though he knew it'd take time and more than a hug to get there. 

But he also felt the tremors running through the other man's body, so he just kept his hand there, waiting, and said, “Nothing's wrong with you.”

Jackson shrugged his hand off and rubbed at this neck as though he wanted to get rid of Jack's touch. 

Jack's hands fell into his lap, fingers lacing. “It's a physical reaction. You have no control over it. It's something that should be fun, easy, hot. Something you should do with someone you... trust. Ba'al twisted everything around and turned something good into something disgusting. Your body didn't know the difference, but your mind does. And it'll always know your body reacted.”

“Great. Just what I need. Jack O'Neill turning into a shrink. Good conversation, thank you, I feel so much better already.” Jackson scrambled to his feet and walked away. 

Jack suspected he'd run for the hills if he could, but there was no where to go.

He stopped by the back door of the ship, his back to Jack, head lowered, arms creeping around his body. 

“It won't go away,” Jack said softly, “but it'll get better.”

***

_It won't go away, but it'll get better._

Daniel wanted to hold on to those words like to an anchor because he felt like he was drowning in this mess. He had tried very hard to - what had Jack called it - play it down. Rationalize it. Thanks to Jack it had all collapsed like a house of cards.

_It'll get better._

When?

How?

He didn't expect this to go away after just a few hours or a couple of days. But right now it felt like Ba'al had torn a hole into him too big to heal. 

Why was this so much harder than what Hathor had done all those years ago? He'd had sleepless nights over that, yes. Had probably shown symptoms of good old RTS then as well. But while it had been disgusting and ugly, it hadn't left him feeling this raw...this...dirty. Maybe because he'd been drugged and had been in such a state of fog that he didn't actually remember many details of the act itself. 

While everything that had happened with Ba'al stood out at him crystal clear, piercing his mind. It had been fine as long as they had their hands full getting the job done. But hanging out on this tiny ship with nothing to do but wait... 

_It'll get better._

Maybe...

Here and now he could hold it together. But he was dreading the time when they were home again...the days of burying himself in his work... the long nights of lying awake and fighting this particular demon...

“We can beat this, Daniel. It just takes time,” Jack went on in that same soft voice he sometimes used when he was talking to the kid.

Daniel wanted him to shut up. He didn't need patronizing or comforting. “Just drop it, okay? I don't want to talk about it. I don't need this. Not now. We have other things to worry about. We can do therapy sessions later. Or not.”

“I'm not trying to do shrink talk here. All I'm saying is that there's light at the end of the tunnel. Let me... let me help. I got through it, you'll get through it for sure.”

“How?” Daniel asked against his will. He wanted to do the Jack-thing - sticking his fingers into his ears and humming loud enough to drown it all out. But he had asked, he reminded himself. He had asked about Iraq and Jack had spilled and now he probably needed to hear the rest. 

He took a deep breath. “How did you get through it?” 

“Little by little. One step at a time. Sara and Charlie gave me the means to go on. She...she was great. She was always the stronger one of us. Kept me grounded, pulled me out of the nightmares, got me through the dark days. I couldn't tell her everything, but she took a pretty good guess. Charlie... Charlie made me laugh again. They gave me back my life.”

“Until you lost Charlie,” Daniel said darkly. 

“Yeah. I lost Charlie and with him I lost the will to live. But again, someone saved me,” Jack said.

Daniel's arms crept more tightly around himself. He felt cold again. “I just tried to save the people of Abydos from your self-destructive streak, that's all.”

They both knew that wasn't entirely true. Even back then, even though he and Jack had seemed to be the complete opposites of each other, Daniel had sensed a connection between them. A strong bond that had become more and more solid over the following years.

Daniel felt another question on the tip of his tongue and he wasn't sure how to ask it. Finally he just blurted out, “How could you stand doing it with guys again? After what... what happened?” 

Because right now Daniel wasn't sure he could ever endure any intimacy with another man again. The mere thought of sex was throwing him off in a way he'd never thought possible. 

He couldn't even stand Jack trying to comfort him. 

That was the worst.

Because part of him had wanted Jack's hand to stay right there – and at the same time his skin seemed to crawl under the simple touch and he had to get away from it. 

“I had no intention of ever hooking up with a guy while I was married. I’ve known I'm bi since I was a snotty teen, but never got to do the real deed with a guy. When I got back from Abydos and Sara was gone I just went on with life. I was sure Iraq had put an end to me ever wanting to get involved with guys. One night I met this Englishman in a bar.”

“Pierson,” Daniel said and was surprised at the sting of jealousy.

“Wasn't celestial choirs, but we clicked somehow. And hey, he isn't even my type. But we talked, got drunk. He was a damn tease, pushed all my buttons. I guess the time was right or there was a full moon or something. I wanted this. Out of the blue I needed this. We went to his hotel and he...”

“He fucked you,” Daniel concluded. 

“No.”

“No?”

“We fooled around, got each other off, that kind of thing. Somewhere down the line he said he'd bottom if I wanted to go the whole nine yards. That guy didn't have any hang ups when it came to sex. And he knew how to get me exactly where he wanted me in oh-so-many ways. But he never got to do me. Don't think he even wanted to either. He didn't ask. I didn't offer.”

“And you...” Daniel couldn't stare at the closed door any longer. He felt Jack's eyes on him and slowly turned around. “You didn't...”

He tried to grasp the meaning of this, his mind flying back to a day many years ago. At the cabin. When he had asked, curious and determined to know what it was like; how it felt, what the difference was between getting and giving. It had been the need of equality, too. So he had asked. And Jack had looked at him and said, “Yeah, sure. Anything you want.” There had been no doubt, no struggles, not a hitch when they had gone to bed that night and Daniel had been on top for the very first time.

They had often switched after that. 

Daniel was still trying to wrap his head around this, when Jack continued.

“He just left after two days. No good-bye, no 'I'll call you later'. I was hauled back into active duty not long after that because some glowy-eyed, snake-possessed, over-dressed bastard decided to waltz through our Stargate. Put a kibosh on my sex life for a while.”

“Until...”

“Until we happened,”

“We,” Daniel tasted the word, remembering again what Jack had asked him on Christmas. 

_Wait for me._

He'd been sure he was going to do that then. God, they had fought this so hard for LD's sake and still lost the battle. Still were drawn to each other like magnets. On Christmas he had thought that, maybe, they should just give in to it. The kid had even wanted them to get together. Had brought the mistletoe home for them...

And now?

Could he still do it now? 

Could he ever feel another man's hands on his body without wanting to hurl and fight? 

He had no idea.

It was too fresh, too raw, too close. The hole inside him pulsed and festered, elongated. When he closed his eyes he saw Ba'al's face. So darkly attractive, so diabolic, disgusting. He could hear that silky and deep voice, cold and taunting.

He swallowed and looked over at Jack, who gazed back at him, his face lined and gray, eyes sad and knowing.

Fin  



End file.
